Wedding at Waikiki

Here's another blog that took forever to compose.

But let's start from the beginning of the trip when CB and I were bussed over to Thrify Car rental to pick up the Cadillac STS he reserved over the internet. I waited outside with other eager tourists watching rental cars pull up, loaded with suit cases then taking off. The crowd was thinning and soon I was the only one there. I looked into the building knowing they must have screwed up our reservation. CB stepped out to tell me they didn't have the car he wanted but they'll drive it over from another location in about 10 min. "They were going to offer me anything on the lot, but I said 'NO' I want that car [pointing to the picture of a gray sedan]" So we sat down on the Thrify bench surrounded by several rental cars and enjoyed the start of our vacation. In less than 10min. CB jumped up and smiled, there it is. I stood up slightly confused "this is it? are you sure?" He smiled excitedly "yah!" He signed some papers, then proceeded to pop the trunk with the Chrysler emblem shining clearly in front of me. "babe, this isn't a Cadillac" I burst out laughing at how he could've made such a mistake, even with the car in front of him. Apparently when he made the reservation online, the page only provided a picture with no vehicle description.




We strolled around during the day then drove out of Waikiki to find a non-tourist place to eat. CB wanted to go to Safeway to pick up some salmon lomi then a bottle of Kettle one and some mixers. I started passing out on the way home and crashed at 9pm. What a waste, but hey, it's me. I can't stay awake for the life of me. At 1 am CB couldn't stop stirring around the room then he dragged my ass out for a walk. We got to check out the homeless of Waikiki and lots of very skinny prostitutes.

Day 2
You really get to know someone when you travel together. I was the navigator to Manoa falls in
the morning, then an hour drive North to "the shrimp shack" for lunch.


Apparently CB doesn't like my navigating skills. I'm not sure how else to navigate for someone who doesn't listen.

The shrimp was fresh, and the sauce was really good. But if it weren't for the hype in the tourist books, I wouldn't have driven so far for a few pieces of shrimp. We swung by the Macadamian Outlet and sampled a variety of flavoured macadamians.. yummy!!
Then the drive home again. grr.. I wanted to catapult the driver off the island.
We were going to be late catching the bus for Germaine's Luau. Sure enough, everyone was waiting for us in the bus, I hate that feeling of walking all the way to the back of the bus with all eyes staring.

Germaines Luau at night.


It was my first Luau so I was excited, plus I love watching Polynesian dancing. We sat across a couple and the guy's mom. The mom was in her 50's and she was so wasted since the start of the show. She was dancing in her seat and she kept reaching across to talk to us. In the end when they left she came over to give us hugs and kisses, blessing us through the alcohol in her breath.

Ocean's Club at night. Nothing spectacular. I was tired, the crowd was young. It looked like I stepped into The Element Party on Waikiki.

Day 3
Morning Cruise. We had initially planned for a sunset cruise, but with the strong winds and high waves, the surfers were the only one's enjoying the weather.

We hopped onto a bus at 7am that took us out to Ko'Olina harbor. We saw lots of dolphins and the captain stopped the boat as the dolphins swam up to check us out.

Then I saw flying fishes! These tropical fishes jump out of the water and literally fly for a good 5-10 seconds! Then we snorkeled. I saw a puffer fish but no turtles, I was really hoping to catch a glimpse of those big turles. We got back at 2ish and it was the fist time we laid down on the beach to rest.
Rehearsal dinner at Sam Choys.
Cleared the bottle of Kettle One with some other wedding guests at night. Then passed out.

Day 4
We drove to The Original Pancake House for breakfast from the recommendation of a local. At 10am there was a line outside the door that looked about 30 people long and the waiting list had atleast 10 tables ahead of us, but we were seated in 15 minutes. Our target was their banana macadamian nut pancake. CB ordered 3 of them, I ordered 2 cocconut pancakes and we shared an omlette. The waitress repeated our order "you want an omlette and FIVE pancakes?"


We cleared our plates and the omlette. The waitress was impressed. On our way out I glanced at the waiting list and noticed they've already serverd 20 tables since we sat down. Fast service and fast eaters!

At 11:30 am we were picked up to go jet skiing. We were greeted by a local who had a few missing teeth in the front in addition to a few chipped one's. He stepped out of the boat with duck tape wrapped around his right big toe. He explained he had a deep cut in his toe that extended to the balls of his foot from surfing. He had superglued it then used the tape to hold it together. That's just nasty. It didn't make me feel too safe riding with him.


Wedding at Ko'Olina JW Marriot. Lovely place. They had an open bar after the reception and I had one of the best Pina Colada's ever. For dinner I sat across one of the bridesmaid's and her daughter. The 4 year old is so cute. Her eyes beamed when they poured "champagne" into her glass and she was so excited to cheer with us like an adult
.

Passed out on the way home. Go figure. And that was the end of my trip.

Pismo Beach

This is ridiculous. It's taking me forever to post a few blogs because I want to get pictures up. This one here has been since Sept. 8!! Screw it.. I'm just going to post it and put up the pictures later or maybe never.

Labor day weekend was spent at Pismo beach w/ CB NN and K, it's located half way between SF and LA. We spent our first two nights at Sea Venture Inn www.seaventure.com, a quaint little resort right on the beach. The King size bed had a feather mattress and 9 fluffy goose down pillows and a really fluffy down comforter. You completely sink into it. The 9 fluffy pillows made a nice display on the bed, but I seriously wonder about the functionality of them. It covers 1/3 of the bed then took up space on the floor when I placed them there to clear up some sleeping room. Our balcony over looked the ocean and included a hot tub too! The hot tub was like a blown up insta-tub, looks like something you can get at Costco and set up in your own back yard. Not a bad idea. You just fill it with water and turn on the jets. It'll heat up the water in a few hours! We spent our two days laying around the beach and relaxing. We had the option of riding dune buggies, ATVs or horse back riding but sometimes it's nice to just do nothing. We took a stroll and checked out the highly recommended restaurant "Splash", best known for their clam chowder. Then walked the family filled beach and watched surfers displaying their talent or lack of. We later found a clam the size of a palm. Maybe it was a geoduck (pronounced: gooey duck) but it was huge! That thing can be a clam steak! Anyhow, we gave it to an 8 year old boy who was clam digging with his grandma.

Then we went to Solvang,



a Danish Village about 30 minutes away from Pismo beach. The village offers European collectible and a Danish bakery on every corner. Surprisingly each bakery was packed with people including myself. I walked out with a box of Danish cookies and a box of pastries meant for breakfast the following day. http://www.solvangusa.com

There's a Casino 5 minutes from Solvang called Chumash and that's where we spent the night. I didn't spend much time at the tables since I suck at gambling. I also concluded that being a lousy gambler in combination with being poor as hell means I should probably gamble with someone else's money. Which I did, and lost. oops. So I retreated to my room and proceeded with the only remaining entertainment I could find in a Casino Hotel. I reached for MJ and my Danish cookies, passed out in a bed of cookie crumbs and the TV on.

5 love languages

At a recent Toastmaster’s meeting a girl gave a speech titled “The 5 love languages.” The information she provided was simple yet profound. I’ve been in relationships where I’ve claimed that we were different, but I couldn’t explain how we were different. I pointed to communication differences, but I couldn’t get more detailed than that. Finally I just figured it was chemistry, as if we were made from different planets, Venus/Mars, Earth/Pluto. Despite how much we were in love we always struggled with the same subject of validating our feelings to eachother. Anyhow, after listening to her speech I learned how important it is to express our love in the same language, and how detrimental it could be when you don’t.
So, stealing from a web page…..

How many times do we hear about people not feeling loved by their partner, much to the partner’s surprise and frustration? According to Gary Chapman, author of “the Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate” it is often the case that love is there and being expressed, but not in the “language” that the loved one understands. Each of us has a primary language of love…ways that we express love and things we see as expressions of love. If we can learn and use each other’s love language we can increase the quality in our relationships.
Gary identifies these five love languages as:

*Words of Affirmation. An unsolicited compliment, a kind word, and words of encouragement are very powerful. Mark Twain once said “I can live for two months on a good compliment.”

*Quality Time. This means togetherness and personal connection, not just being physically nearby. Learn to have a quality conversation, really listening to each other. Take time to have fun together. Do things you each enjoy; explore new activities together.

*Receiving Gifts. The message here is that the gift giver was thinking of you and wanted to let you know. Expense is not the main thing – it’s the meaning. A favorite treat picked up on the way home or a card for no reason sends a priceless message.

*Acts of Service. Cooking, washing the car, laundry can be acts of love. Challenge the stereotypes. Doing something that is helpful to your loved one will be noticed, if it is their language of love.

*Physical Touch. A hug, a kiss, holding hands, and sexual intercourse are all ways of communicating love. Research indicates that positive physical contact is important to emotional health; some say you need four hugs a day.

Ways to identify your loved one’s “love language” is to pay attention to his/her complaints:
“you don’t spend enough time with me” = speaks of quality time
“you don’t tell me you love me” = speaks of words of affirmation
“You don’t hold me”=speaks of physical touch

You can also identify your loved one’s language by observing how they express their love to you.
What’s your love language?

weekend retreats

I like getting away for the weekend. Even if it's not very far, just the change in environment feels very relaxing. It helps you forget about the bad stuff that lingers in the back of your mind, like bad work stuff.

I squeezed in another camping trip in August. It was a scorching 97 deg at Folsom Lake that weekend. The lake had jet ski rentals, boat rentals, and all sorts of floaty stuff. It's a very popular camp site, but the lake wasn't all that impressive. the sand was full of pebbles, and I think it was a man made lake because there were lots of concrete blocks surrounding the lake. It looked very industrial. None the less, we had our beer, lots of Kal-be and we chilled.

On our way back home we stopped by Folsom Premium Outlets, which was only 10 minutes from the lake and did some shopping. The whole purpose of camping was to get away from "city life" but I couldn't resist. I ended up finding a swim suit for only $15 at off Saks!

Hibernate

For the past 3 months my Sunday mornings usually started with opening my eyes to YN staring back at me, followed by "oh my god, do you remember what you did?" Humiliating pictures helped to remind us of why we shouldn't get too drunk.

I'm ready to hibernate for a while now. I really screwed up my training schedule after a few mis-haps. One crazy weekend messed me up for a week. Then I discovered I have varicose veins which really hurt for a few days, but I still ran through the pain. Then I rolled my right ankle 5 minutes into a planned long run. I wasn't warmed up yet, so it was hurt really badly and that was 3 weeks ago. I'm rehabing it right now but I can't seem to be able to jump on it yet. I'm hoping it'll be okay by next week. Mean while I'm spending ridiculous hours in the gym to make up for the length of time I'm supposedly running. Last Thursday I was there for 3.5 hours using the elliptical machine, steps etc. in substitution for my 16mi run. That's gym money put to good use.

If anyone knows has a good tip for sprained ankles, please let me know. It was an inversion sprain.

The training has really taken up a lot of my time. I have to work out after work now because lunch hour isn't long enough. I often find myself responding to IM greetings with, "hi", "gotta go to the gym, talk to you later." It kind of stinks, but I really want to do this marathon, I've been looking forward to doing one for years.

Some changes I've noticed with my training are: I don't get bored after an hours work out anymore, at 2 hours I feel like the energizer bunny, I can still do more but my joints start aching. My calves have gotten really big! They're massive! If I flex I can barely wrap both hands around them! A good MP3 player or book makes a huge difference.

lean back

oh yah, this is the way it should be. half way slid down my chair, Explorer full screen ahead along with many other non-work related windows. Boss isn't here this week, and what do I do with my time? I plan my marathon schedule. I was worried for a while that I wasn't up to mileage and won't have enough time to train properly, what if I got an injury? which I sort of do.

I spent most of my day reading articles from active.com learning how to train injury free. Apparently it's recommended to do a ratio of run/walk which came as a great relief for me. I was wondering how on earth I'd manage running 26 miles continuously.

I did 10 miles straight last week and I nearly killed myself. Throughout the 10 miles I learned that my vision gets slightly blurred at about 6 miles. I was running through small branches, stepping over shrubs and I think I might have stepped on a small lizard.
I felt an unfamiliar soft landing under the balls of my right foot that made me slip very slightly to right followed by an immediate high pitched squeak. I could have stopped to double check but I was already 10 seconds past the 'squeak' and I was too tired to add an extra 20 seconds back tracking just to see a blurry lizard.

While surfing through active.com I came across a section on gears. It's a page full of the latest, sportiest sunglasses, shorts, T-shirts, runners. I started to smile.. SHOPPING! But I'll refrain myself. The only thing I feel I need is another pair of running shorts, pants, runners, maybe another mp3 player. I've had mine for 3+ years and I'm surprised it's still alive. I use it a lot! (thanks JY) My friend MM was telling me how tights help to stabilize the legs so that everytime you make impact your muscles don't have to work extra hard to stabilize the jiggling that occurs. At 8 miles, I definitely concurred.

So here's what I came up for training.

Monday: Spinning Class (interval training)
Tuesday: Cross Training
Wedensday: up to 4 miles w/ hills
Thursday: Long Run
Friday: Stretch/Yoga
Saturday:2-4 miles + core training
Sunday: OFF

There's something about getting those out to the world, because now I feel somewhat obligated to stick to it. If anyone knows of a better schedule, let me know.

Pushed

For the most part I've always been the pusher in the relationship. Trying to push it to the next level. Pushing for more attention, pushing for more affection, pushing for more of everything.

Then at one point or another I push too hard and all goes to hell. Inevitably, the harder I push the worse I make things.

This time I'm being pushed. It's suffocating, it’s pressuring, it’s unwelcoming, it's irritating. Now I see how pushing a relationship can push it apart. No one wants to be pushed.

Shaughn

I think it was 1995 when Brenda ,Celia and I snuck off to Surrey and picked up a Labrador Retriever from a breeder. We didn't let mom know, she didn't want a dog because of the extra burden.
Our new pup had a special colour that normal labs don't possess. He's not your usual black, chocolate or white lab. He was fox red. Well, a few months later we learned that he's a lab-cross, not purebred, that's probably why his colour was *speical* doh.....

We were searching for a good dog name but Celia said not to give him a doggy name "if you're going to treat him as a dog then you shouldn't have gotten him" (Brenda and I didn't comment on that, she must've been on something) So, we named him Shaughn , after Shaughnessy. Shaughn is the cutest dog in the world. He's a huge brat, incredibly smart, which makes him a bigger brat.

When mom came home we strategically told her we bought Shaughn as her birthday gift. She frowned and said no, take him back. She didn't want to clean up after him, take care of him etc. But we said we would do all that. She said no, who's friend does this dog belong to? Mom wouldn't touch him, she didn't want to hold him, her eyebrows grew closer and closer together. "Take him back" were the only words coming out of her.

It took a little convincing for her to realize that Shaughn is here to stay. The next morning mom had Shaughn in the kitchen and was playing with him. We pulled out our camera and she proceeded to hug him for poses. And yes, she became the care giver, feeding him, walking him etc. oops, well, we were all at work and in school, so she just ended up taking care of him.

In Shaughn's younger years we'd let him play in the yard during the day and he would perch on top of our stone fence, sitting very still watching people walk by. The tall bushes behind him and his stillness almost camouflages him. Most of the time people don't even notice him there and walk right on by. Occasionally Shaughn would let out a startling bark and scare the crap out of people. Sometimes I'd catch all of this from the inside, get a good laugh, run out and appologize then bring him to the back. But one day while I was doing dishes I heard Shaughn whining. It was intense and it didn't sound like he was just seeking attention. I ran out and found him on his side. His head was arched back and legs stretched out in spasm. I ran to him and saw his eyes buldging staring into space, he looked like he was in pain. I started to cry and I didn't know what to do, no one else was home. I tried to pet him but his body started to convulse. I called the vet and they told me to bring him in, but I couldn't carry a 50 lb dog, they were of no help and I never went back to that vet. I thought he was going to die right there. A few minutes later he came to, took a poop and ran towards me wagging his tail. I gave him a big hug. That was the first time I saw Shaughn in seizure.


Shake paw Shaughn


Shaughn continued to have occasional seizures since then, but a few days ago he had a two hour seizure that continued into a different kind of seizure. My sisters described him to be paddling and panting on his side for an hour and a half. This all stopped when the vet gave him a shot. He stayed in the hospital for 2 nights and now he's back home, but crippled and with undetermined neurological damage. His motor skills have deteriorated. He can't get up on 4's and can't feed himself. He has to be carried out to pee and poo and food has to be brought to his mouth. He's also suffered damages to other parts of his organs and is currently under intense care. He's scheduled for a neurological exam and is taking a long list of medications. His medical bills are daunting and will only get worse.

We can only hope Shaughn will recover and be able to walk again. When you've had a pet for so long, they become family and it's especially hard for Brenda since she's been the one taking care of him for the past years.

So this blog is for my Shaughn Shaughn.
 

another "this is life" blog

I feel like I've been living the same day 365 times. My life has come to a stand still. Nothing is changing and I'm breathing stagnant air day in day out. I travel the same roads 6 days a week. I used to pride myself being a creature of habit. Wake up, eat breakfast, leave for work, work out at lunch, return to work, go home, eat dinner, chores and sleep. I liked it stress free, simple, relaxing, NO DRAMA. Now, I'm desparately searching for an exit. I'm not seeking entertainment changes in my life, not new hobbies or sports or weekend excursions. Frankly, I'm not sure what it is I am looking for. Maybe that's why I'm standing in still water.

Occasionally I converse with my friends about how uninspiring my life has become. Then I usually get a sigh, followed by "that's life", "that's what life is about", "c'est la vie" sure, use a different language, that sounds better.

Don't tell me that. This cannot be my life. I'd be quicker to gouge my eye out with a spoon than let this be my life. (Best keep HD away from spoons)

A smart advice I received from a jack ass long time ago was to consider the source of the advice. A little ironic here. He's a jack ass but not stupid. So, I was talking to jack ass about making career moves and mentioned how some people told me not to make certain moves while others encouraged it. Then he looked at me and said "well, my young grasshopper, are the people who discouraged the action successful or not? and are the people who encouraged you successful or not?"

Then I thought, did Bai Mei just called me grasshopper?

I probably got to this stage because of all the relationship changes I'm seeing around me. I've been single for some time now and knew of only one other girl who's single, and she's all the way in NY! Then suddenly singles are appearing again and I'm half excited and half reminded of the agony I went through a year ago. We've all gone through breakups before, but why is it everytime we go through it, it hurts just as bad as the first time?

VN told me that I should know if he is the one after dating for 6 months. She's 4 years above me and told me this when I was 22. I was dating her brother at the time for 5 years and I thought she was crazy. I don't think she meant for us to break-up, but was giving me advice should I date in the future. Her idea was not to waste time. Dating is like an investment. If he/she isn't the one and you keep daiting, then you're wasting time. I think about what she said all the time. So here I am dating this guy wondering if I'm wasting his time. We don't know where we're heading and sometimes we feel we're hitting a wall too.

For the past year my focus was just to keep myself occupied. Do something, keep busy, but I never directed myself to get somehwere.

It's time to move on, but I don't know where to go and I've gotten so comfortable sitting in this puddle of mud that I'm actually kind of scared.

Lake Mendocino

Beer never tasted so good and camping is unhealthy.

On Saturday CB and I packed up my car with a new tent and awesome camp chairs costing only $8/ea. courtesy of Target. I ran through my checklist then we headed North towards Mendocino County 2 hours away.

We arrived a little past noon, pitched our tent next to two neighbours. These people have tents big enough to call a house. All they're missing are some hinges for for their doors and glass windows. These things are huge! While tent shopping, CB and I even came acroos a tent for 8 people, dividable into separate rooms with an addition den for your DOG! The dog even gets its' own entrace!



After working up a sweat we headed straight to the lake. There, we baked in a 100deg weather trying to cool off with what little water we carried with us. Slowly, more people gathered then a man situated himself about 5 feet away with a lawn chair. He pulls out a pack of smokes and cracks open a bottle of beer and leaned back into his chair. I eyed his beer and without much hesitation we headed back to retrieve some of our own. Our beer was still slightly frozen which was perfect. The little floating iceberg kept my beer cold as I layed next to the lake. In that hot weather and an icy cold beer, I've never tasted anything better.

We headed back to camp after cooling off in the lake and started a fire for dinner.
Then someone started blasting country music a few camp sites away. I was really irritated at how inconsiderate they are, so CB pulled out his boom box and blasted R&B and Hip Hop. LOL, no he didn't but that would have been funny.

Dinner is when it starts to get unhealthy. We pulled out 2 pounds of Korean BBQ marinated the night before, about 4 pieces of chicken breast and some bacon wrapped peaches. I thought we brought way too much food for just the two of us, but with a couple of more beers, a bottle of Johnny Walker for CB, a few hits, the food was gone by the end of the night. I also cleared half a bag of marshmallows, which is a must have whenever a camp fire is around. I like to roast my marshmallows until they torch then blow it out. It's the most carcinogenic thing I can do, it looks nasty too, but the taste of burnt sugar is oh soooo good.



Right after dinner we drove into town to get some more ice which ruined the mood a little. That's the problem with car camping. You're often so close to some town that you wonder maybe you should just have dinner in town instead of firing up a grill. This one time camping in Vancouver, I was so close to home I was tempted to just drive home to shower up then drive back, or drive home, shower, sleep, then go back.

Before taking off, the neighbours' Golden Retriever, Barry (I think that's his name) must've loved the smell of our food because he'd come over all the time and sniff around the trees. Then I caught the dog taking two huge poops. I tried to shoosh him away to poop closer to his own camp site, but instead the poor dog assumed poop position and straddled to another poop site closer to our tent and remained constipated there. After he unloaded I walked over to the owners to let them know. Which made me realize. With these dogs walking around in long leashes, it's easy for the owners to be unaware/ or pretend to be unaware of their dogs' doo doo. Which means.... watch your step.

Anyhow, we spent the rest of the night chilling by the fire listenting to music then at one point CB woke me up from the chair telling me to go inside to sleep. I think I might have mumbled something about sleeping out there all night because it was so warm and the chair was comfy.

Breakfast.
4 chicken apple sausages, more bacon, 2 English muffins each and Starbucks Mocha Frappucino. The fire was still burning after we finished breakfast, so I proceeding to take the next logical step. Roast more marshmallows.


Now that's a weekend well spent, doing absolutely nothing but sitting around and vegging.

The longest History

Doctor: Good afternoon Mrs. Sanchez, I noticed on your intake form you mentioned your neck is bothering you.

Mrs. Sanchez: oh, my neck has been bothering me for sometime, it's not really bad but it's always there.

Dotor: ok, so when did you start to notice it?

Mrs. Sanchez: It's not very painful but it's just there, you know? It's like somethings always poking me there but it doesn't hurt too much, but I'm concerned, you know, I don't know what to do about it. (Mrs. Sanchez rubs her neck) it feels tight. (Mrs. Sanchez turns her head side to side) Do you think it's old age?

Doctor: Do you recall having a specific accident?

Mrs. Sanchez: I don't think so (looks around thinking). It hurts from up here to here and when I sleep, I sometimes wake up because it's bothering me.

Doctor: (interrupts) ok, so when did you first noticed this?

Mrs. Sanchez: oh, it's been some time this tightness in my neck...

Doctor: (interrupts) was it a month ago, one year ago, two years ago?

Mrs. Sanchez: It's just very tight and sometimes it goes down to my back (points to her lower back), I think it's a pinched nerve or something. Or maybe it's just muscle, do you think it's just muscle?

Doctor: Mrs. Sanchez, I need to know how old this injury is. When did you first notice this? Last week? A few months ago? A year ago? two years ago?

Mrs. Sanchez: It's always been there (rubbing her neck)it's just tight...

Doctor: Was it a year ago?

***(repeat x3, 3 min later)*****

Mrs. Sanchez: oh maybe 3 years, then 2 years ago it got worse and now it really bothers me.

Doctor: Thank you. (scribble)

Hearst Castle

I took a trip to Hearst Castle in San Simeon. I've been meaning to go there since I moved down. So CB rented a convertible and we cruised down Hwy 1 on a sunny afternoon. The drive was beautiful and the warm weather just topped it off. But haven't you noticed that no matter how nice the view is, after an incredibly long drive, it loses it's appeal.


Hwy 1

Hearst Castle was ok. I wasn't sure what to expect. It's called a castle so I was expecting to see something resembling European architect. It turns out to be what I would describe as several large houses built on the same plantation with a Lego of unmatching artifacts from different parts of Europe, even Egypt. Hearst definetly hired a fine architect to build his dream, but the design was... inconsistent. However, the sheer size of that place and its' view was impressive.
the Neptune pool surrounded by white marble pillars.
. Casa Del Sol, 18 room guest house .Casa Grande

Pillsbury Toaster Strudel

yummy!!

I'm not a big fan of junk food or fast food or frozen food and stuff like that. Good Desserts are an exception: cookies, cakes, pies, ice cream, chocolates have made their way as part of my food groups. But there are just some things that don't appeal to me such as chips and dips, nachos, frozen food, twinkies and stuff alike, fast food, fries, anything fried except for tempura, candies, chocolate bars (unless i'm PMSing) etc.

I was starving last night because I had to stay a little later at work, so I hopped over to Target to grab something quick and the RED sale sign for the Pillsbury Toaster Strudel caught my eyes. It was only $1.70 for a box of 6 strudels. I figured I haven't tried any of this stuff in years so I got a box of chocolate strudels and egg/ham/cheese. I popped them in the toaster and oh my god.. they were good. The strudel was smaller than my palm and with 200 calories and 10 grams of fat no wonder they were good. AND CHEAP. I can see how easy it is for people to just live off this stuff. The strudel was so flakey it was as if I just pulled it out of the deep fryer.

I'm trying to pawn it off to my co-workers now so I don't develop an affinity for them.

Home sweet Home

I couldn't wait to climb the mountains and lay on the beach the minute I stepped out of the airport. It's been some years since I've seen Vancouver basking in sun and ever so green. I sat outside on the departure level, as usual, waiting for my ride. I never mind waiting for my pick up. It gives me a chance to create a check list of everything I want to do. First things first, get my hair done.

That night I went for Japanese food with my sister. I saved no hesitation to dog down everything my stomach would allow me to. It was absolutly delicious. Then we went down town for Gelati. I like gelato, but I was disappointed to find the whole city turn into a dichotomoous menu of Starbucks and gelato. I like learning of new places that has opened since I've been gone, but I'd hardly consider "oh look another Starbucks" something new.

Friday morning I drove up to Cypress with my weekday companion, Shaughn. He keeps me company when everyone is at work. We went on a rather disappointing hike. there's a lot of still water up there so there were more mosquitos than I would like. We walked around for about 40 minutes and Shaughn jumped into a few pools of water and that's when I called it quits. I took him down to Kits beach instead where we ran from Vanier Park to Point Grey. He collapsed on to his stomach on the way back. Apparently too hot and tired for the day. I felt so bad for my four legged friend who had less endurance than I did. It took about 20 minutes to get him from the beach across the grass field to my car. He would dodge the sun from tree to tree and take a rest break at every shadow.

Saturday was a perfect day for the wedding I attended. Though a little too hot since the AC doesn't work in my car. I retired earlier than my friends as usual. I simply lack the stamina to stay awake. Squirl asked if I cried at weddings, well, I don't unless the bride and groom do. Well, they did, and at the reception too. So I cried. And just a random thought, wouldn't it be aweful to have your wedding when you're PMSing?

Sunday my friends and I hiked up Dog mountain on Seymour. It was cloudy on the way up but we soon got above the clouds and it was clear blue sky at the top. That was a nice day trip. Sunday night, another big meal at Joe Fortes... yum.

yogi posers  

Monday was when everything went down hill at about 2pm when JC and I met up with MJ. Then time seemed to have stood still and flew by all at the same time. The rest of the day was a blur but I do recall what a great view JC's new pad has of down town. Residing on 8th and Heather with a roof top patio, he's got the ultimate bachelor pad. Each room looked like a show room out of Pottery Barn.

Tuesday 8am. Apparently my brain was still shot. I completely miscalculated my check in time and missed my flight. Might as well, since I forgot to pick up my dry clean and shoe repair and at the airport I realized I left one bag behind too. That bag had my US wallet and some other important stuff. I walked around the airport feeling like the biggest Air Head then cabbed it back home just to deja vu 2 hours later at the airport.

It was raining the day I left. I guess you can call it the perfect day to leave, so I won't feel so nostalgic.

work hours

Dear Boss, these are my work hours that YOU set for me please remember them.
....................................................

Lunch time.

I usually leave the office during lunch except for lunch meetings and lazy days like today. But when I stay in, everyone knows not to talk to me. Everyone except for the boss and boss' wife. Everyone knows that when I'm facing the monitor I DO NOT hear you and I DON'T WANT to hear you. It's my lunch break DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT WORK!

AND DO NOT CALL ME AFTER WORK!!! I don't care to hear about what a great job I did today and we're going to do so much better tomorrow. Don't call me to remind me to come in 30min earlier and leave 1 hour later. I don't even want to waste my time hearing your messages that We're rockin' !! It's friggin 8pm!!! tell me that tomorrow! DURING WORK.

arrr.....

cravings

At about 9am this morning I started to have this intense craving for a hamburger or two and fries, maybe. Who craves for burgers at 9 am?? I searched high and low for something to curb the cravings. If I had the chance I would have stepped out to grab a burger at McDonalds or burger king. I wasn't craving for just any burger, I wanted the King of all burgers, the McDeath! But it's no where near noon and I wasn't exactly hungry so I ended up popping in two Almond Roca's which was nothing remotely close to the fat cravings I had. I reached for some cookies, sipped my coffee hoping to change my taste. Finally 12pm hits and I got myself to the gym to run off the potential triple bypass I was about to endure.

2:30pm
that was yummy.. 2 double cheese burgers and a medium fries, courtesy of Burger King. mmmm..
3:00pm
ok, now i'm feeling sick. No amount of running can undo what I just did.
Speaking of running, I hit 8 miles last Sat. Yah, it's been well over 4 months since I hit 7 miles. I'm slightly lagging on my training.

REI

It’s Monday and I’m still feeling the repercussions of my weekend. I went to REI Friday night for their annual sale. I hesitated on splurging, but on Friday I could no longer hold in the temptations. I felt like a kid in that store, it was like Toys R Us for adults. With an overly enthusiastic staff by my side, my friend and I stayed for 2+ hours in that store. We started with a back pack. The associate measured my torso and searched for a back pack that was most suitable for my purpose. We ended up with the Gregory Deva 60 for women, touted as the "best women's weekend pack" in the 2003 Backpacker Magazine Gear Guide! It was also on sale for a great price! It's designed with three ways to pack my bag, top loading, front panel access and bottom access to get to the main compartment. It's about 3200 cubic inches in volume and weighs at app. 5lb.

I then stepped over to look at tents and the associate couldn’t stop smiling as he explained all the different features on their selections. I think he was getting more excited about me getting a tent than I was. I stood there a good 30 minutes after because I’m so indecisive and finally picked up the North Face Tadpole 23. "An ultralight two-person tent with Fusion Pitch for fast packin, ideal for adventurers who value performace and efficiency" Sounds perfect for me. Weighing at about 4lb 6oz, I'm going to have lots of fun with Tadpole this summer.
The tent is also very cute. The associate must have thought I was retarded for picking out a tent because “it’s so cute”. I felt pretty stupid saying that too, but shoot, it IS cute. I even picked up the foot print for the tent too.


Set up in the kitchen

The next step was to look for a sleeping mat! Luckily, I already have a sleeping bag and didn’t need to drop more dough for that. Two hours later with the back pack on my shoulder the same associate helped me pick up an REI sleeping pad and I used my 20% off coupon for it. He continued to smile and asked me what else I needed, “a sleeping bag? Have one already? How about a stove?” I didn’t get a stove, but I did learn a little about them. I continued shopping around and picked up a pair of running socks. I have a pair of hiking socks and I feel like I’m walking on clouds with them on. So I was really curious how these running socks will pan out. So with a new back pack, a tent, a sleeping pad, pair of socks and a big hole in my wallet I was in friggin’ heaven. It was 8:45pm when we stepped out of REI. They close at 8pm. Had I stayed there longer I probably would have picked up a stove, a towel, a head lamp, food, bug spray, water filter, omg I’m getting all excited just thinking of all that.
After REI all I wanted to do was go home, pitch my tent and sleep in it. But instead we went for dinner at this French restaurant called Le Pot au Feu at Menlo Park. Great place, good food, we ordered dessert too and I ate it all, go figure. I was too tired and full to set up my tent after that, so on Sat. after work and errands that was the first thing I did. I could help but burst out in little giggles as I set up each pole, and I dove right in it when the tent was up! I would have slept in it that night except that I was going to Bay to Breakers the following day and wanted a good night’s sleep.

Bay to Breakers was really fun. I can’t believe it’s only 7.5 mi from Embarcadero to Ocean beach! Considering how long it takes to drive the distance you’d think it’s 20 miles apart! We tried to run the whole thing, but it was hard when the crowd was a mix of runner and walkers. There was a lot of stop and go on our part and that made it really hard to keep up the endurance. There was one float that says “Michael Jackson’s Child Day Care” and some guy dressed as Michael Jackson on it. Lots of people in costumes and naked men as usual. There were DJ’s and bands playing along the streets, it was really festive and impressive to see so many people up partying and walking on a Sunday morning! Next year I'll arrive earlier and run the whole thing. But untill then, I plan on puting some good mileage on my new toys. I can't wait to go camping.

And I've learned

It is already May. Already a year since....

After reading a few blogs I'm brought back to thoughts of where I am in life. I made a conscious decision to just enjoy life after I graduate. Or you can say I consciously made an excuse to drop my ambition and be a lazy ass. No regrets. Though, I have already gotten comfortable living off the lint in my pocket and am in dire need of getting my ass in gear. An old college friend called me out of the blue the other day. I told him my situation and his response was "what happened to you?" What happened to me?

When encouraging YN the potentials of being down here, I was reminded of all the nights I cried when I first moved down. Sobbing silently in that small tatami room. The sliding doors and plastic panels replacing the traditional paper sheets offered little privacy between my room and the living room. For 3 months I covered my head as I struggled to admit I missed my mom just like I did in kindergarten camp, my first night away from home. Every kid slept peacefully after our teacher’s good night kiss, and I continued to lay awake on the top bunk-bed after she tried to comfort me. She said I could call mom and go home, but I toughed it out (or might have just passed out, I could have been narcoleptic back then too).

Five years later, this city has shaped me in ways that home never could have done. The biggest change started with my old roommate DG. She exuded a confidence that I haven’t seen in anyone else. After living with her for 3 years I opened my mind to do things I was too shy to do. To be the dork only my family see’s. I tune into music I once thought was a waste of airtime. I simply became comfortable in my own skin. I grew stronger. I don’t think home could have pulled that out of me. People seem more concerned about their image up there.

So, reading what life after 30 wrote in her blog....I too have learned a few things...
I’ve learned that time will not stop when I sob in self pity.
I’ve learned that I can be more decisive when I’m honest with myself.
I’ve learned that whatever obstacle comes my way I always make it across whether stumbling or with ease.
I’ve learned how open minded, kind, generous, unconditionally loving people can be.
I’ve learned that the truth may hurt, but lies hurt much more.
I’ve learned that I may be a procrastinator, but I’m not a quitter.

Sadly,
I’ve learned that love doesn’t last forever. No matter how deep, I still move on.
I’ve learned that money does matter, that grandma was right, love will not feed my hunger.
I’ve learned how selfish, deceitful, judgmental, conniving people can be.
I’ve learned to be doubtful, cautious, guarded.

Keane

They’re HERE. KEANE is coming to Oakland this Friday. Ever since I heard their hit song “somewhere only we know” I was glued to their Album for months. I liked it so much that I put it on repeat on my drive down to Irvine then again on the way up. 12 hrs of non-stop Keane. That was back in December and I’ve been hoping they would come to the Bay Area. For those of you who have never heard of them, they sound like Cold Play but more upbeat. As one friend pointed out, Keane is pretty mellow so I'm not sure how their concert would be. It's not like I can get out of my seat and start dancing or singing at the top of my lungs. It's on a Friday night, I might just pass out!!

While I’m on the subject of music. I have to admit I like Kelly Clarkson. There’s just something weird about admitting I like the American Idol, but every time her song “since you’ve been gone” comes on the radio I can’t help but crank up the volume and rock-out!

Since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so moving on
yeah yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get what I want
Since you been gone

I'd also like to introduce my latest new fav. Anna Nalick. I first heard her in concert last year and her album finally released this year.

Big Al's

After reading Van's blog about her first police report and perverts, I was reminded of an incident when I stepped into Big Al's on Broadway and Columbus. I was checking out their wall collection of um...big stuff. I took notice of a few products that impressed me with shear size and stood there in awe when I noticed from the corner of my eyes a man in his50's standing three feet to my left staring at the wall too. I felt uncomfortable that we were looking at the same products, maybe? So I kinda froze and just stood there, then I glanced over to see why he wasn't moving and dang, the man was wanking off in the middle of the store, Hand in his pants and all! I guess those peep shows in the back just didn't do it for him that he had to stare at plastic packaged parts.

Let there be light

I went to IKEA Sunday night and picked up roman blinds to block out the morning light. I was so excited with my new purchase that I rushed home during my Tuesday lunch just to install it. The blinds worked fabulously. And it was cheap!! I slept so well that I was late for work. Then an hour after I got into work, PG&E turned off the power to our office as promised a week ago. We were left in the dark till 12pm, just when I was ready to leave for lunch. An hour after I returned, some “professional” electrician blew a fuse and left us in the dark again from 3pm till I left the office. I basically spent the whole day in the dark, walking around the office with candles. It was definitely not my usual day. Everyone sat around and played with their thumbs.

Now I’m off to bed and loving the idea of sleeping till the alarm goes off instead of being woken up by the morning light.

Death and Taxes

Kill me now.

I proudly walked into my room at 2:30pm yesterday all mentally prepared to do my taxes. Good HD, you remembered!!
Then I searched through my desk, lifted papers, dust flying everywhere and I CAN'T FIND MY W2 form! grrr....

Daily work (by Astrology.com)Don't let those deadlines or milestones worry you too much. Work will progress at its own pace, and you'll just have to adjust when the time comes.

I found my W2 form mixed with my junk mail pile, hm... how did it get there? OK I started using TurboTax online to file my Federal, but when done, I owed money! So I re-did it to itemize and the thing starts lagging and freezing! I tried and tried and did laundry and ate cookies 'cuz I was so frustrated and FINALLY I QUIT!

ok, let's go with HR Block instead. I still owe tax, fine, on with the state taxes. I turned on my bedroom lights, it was starting to get dark by now. State Taxes DONE! and I owe $$ again. Just Fabulous.

Daily extended (by Astrology.com)Most of the time, your main focus is other people. You concentrate on what they like, what makes them happy and how to please them -- because doing that makes you happy, too. For the next couple of weeks, however, you'll be far more interested in financial matters, and you have every right to turn your attention in that direction, too. You need to take care of a certain matter that's had you absolutely stumped. Ask for help if you need it

anybody wanna gimme money?

7:30pm taxes e-filed, ...Must hit the gym NOW.

Last Day

She did it, she threw her resignation letter at BOSS’ face and screamed “I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE” Then continued to work her last two weeks. Today is Mag’s last day. I’ve never seen Mag so happy before. For the last two weeks she’s been walking in with this radiant aura around her. Copy machine doesn’t work? she doesn’t care. Computer crashes she laughs. She was exceedingly happy today that she even filed.. EVERYTHING. Oh, don’t forget the X-rays. I’m so sad she’s leaving. Not only will I miss our daily chit chats about anything and everything, she has done worse than just quitting, she will be working for the ENEMY! One day I might have to walk up to her office and shout “just pay up will ya?” of course, I’d take IL with me for back-up. Aye.. work will never be the same.

procrastinating

I'm procrastinating. I have to write a speech for Toastmasters tomorrow and I can't think of what to write, instead, I suddenly have lots to blog about. The other night while stuck at Blush just to get a drink, YN and I were approached by little boys trying to dance to us. She was surprised, I know they don't do that much in Vancouver, but guys aren't shy around here. The distgust on her face was priceless. I was buzzed, I didn't care when little Ming offered to get us drinks. Crown shots, yelled YN. Little Ming was wasted after that. He was a nice boy YN and I conversed on our way home. Kinda cute too, half Chinese, half white. What was a real turn on, though, was when he started talking to me in perfect Mandarin. WOW. I was impressed. I think I'd like to date a guy I can speak mandarin with. Parents would love that too! heck, they want me to go back to Taiwan and get married or something. They're always hinting that i'm wasting my time here and Taiwan is so great and so and so just got married to some doctor/lawyer/government offical who's family is the ranking blah blah of Taiwan and blah blah blah. wonderful, i'm sure they love eachother very much.

divorce

What a glorious morning. Tuesday mornings without THE BOSS. Our early morning conversation started with husbands that are soon to be X-husbands and the pains of going through a divorce. I've seen so many divorces in this city, divorce has simply become an expensive break up. Of course no one gets married with the expectation of divorcing later on. Like wise, I'm sure no one get involved in a committed relationship with the expectation of breaking up either. The financial component of a divorce is the biggest issue in our conversation. Some couples feel that they should share one account. Just one joint account and no separate individual ones. As a couple, partners, a team, it is unnecessary to carry your own separate account. The two of you are as one. That sounds pretty sweet, for better or worse, you sink or swim together. From my personal experience, I wouldn't bet my life on sharing a joint credit card. A joint savings account for the bills, probably, but not a card! Especially not after seeing what my girlfriend is going through. This doesn't imply I'm anticipating a divorce should I get married (at this rate, never), and am preparing to avoid the financial complications. To me, having my own account also gives me the freedom to buy personal items without consulting my partner. Nor would I feel taken advantage of if my other half suddenly lavishes on expensive new toys because he's going through a mid life crisis or whatever. It's you/my money, do what you want, but the pot we share in between is for the family. Credit cards? Keep them separate. I’m sure things aren’t as simple as I think, I'm not even sure why I'm giving this so much thought. With life as it is now I'd die happy a single woman. But of course, being a Libran I have to see the flip side of the coin ie. Anna Nicole Smith. nuff said.

Horoscope

I check my horoscope randomly on my.yahoo, sometimes it hits the spot, sometimes it serves as a reminder of how silly I am to even take this stuff seriously. I usually take the applicable advices and ponder on them for a few moments. But today's advice really hits the spot.

Around the 1st, the new month could bring a couple of 'authority issues' with it. Authority issues? Yep, that's right. Authority issues, as in, you really, really hate taking stupid orders. As in, you feel like you could do your boss' job about a hundred times better then they do it. As in, maybe it's time for you to move on from your current workspace. Why not spend the 2nd getting your resume together? If nothing else, it's a good way to look at where you've been and what you've learned, and it'll help you think about where you might want to go next. On the 5th and 6th, your daydreams about the future need to go on the back burner while you put your head down and finish up a few projects. But don't abandon those old daydreams. (Where, after all, do you think reality comes from?) Come back to them on the 13th and bounce them off a good friend or two. What do they think about your idea to start your own design business/rhubarb pie stand/legal advice hotline?

How do these psychics know? There must be a gazillion Librans out there! Are they all going through the same thing? doh. Time to stop dragging ass. Gotta get myself out of here. Knowing myself, I won't get anything done till a year later. sheesh.

This office seems to be getting smaller and smaller. ML left last week and Mag is leaving next week. I feel like I"m in the twilight zone and people are starting to suspiciously disappear. Except, I know the cause, and it's THE BOSS. Enough about work.

Running has come to a decisive halt this week. Dr's orders, my own orders. I injured my left achilles a few weeks ago by forcing myself through a few sprints to up my speed. I continued doing short runs and now I walk with a limp. What a dumb ass, I should practice what I preach. But running becomes addictive, especially when you can easily overcome the ankle pain after a 10 minute warm up. Which, is what I've been doing up till Sunday. I went for a 20 min jog with YN. "But I won't be able to keep up" whines YN, don't worry, with my limp we'll be at the same speed. She didn't like my comment. I can't wait for this thing to heal though. I've been searching through some running magazines and I'm really hoping to be ready for the Big Sur marathon October 1st. can I run for 4+hours? that's kinda boring.

Firing Range

I went to the firing range for the first time last night. They have half price ladies night on Mondays. Ladies night at a firing range? I was expecting to see what TV shows present. People standing in stalls all looking serious with seemingly perfect stances and perfect aim. Instead, I was greeted with a crowd of young 21+ year old Chinese kids, pale skinny looking boys with gelled up hair, accompanied by pale skinny flat-ironed long haired girls chatting in Cantonese. I was really taken back by the age of the crowd. Shouldn’t they be doing homework on a Monday night? Go drink some beer or something. I can’t believe how easy it is to mess around with hand guns in this country.

I handed over my BC drivers, “does she know how to use a gun?” yes said CB, I gave a puzzled look then looked back down, I guess I’ve used a gun, water gun, BB-gun, pellet gun, paintball??? I gave my signature, put in my ear plugs and put on my protective eye wear then we stepped into the shooting room.

I immediately broke into a sweat at the sound of guns firing. It seems to shake the whole room and you can smell gun powder in the air. We slipped into stall #3. Each stal was divided by a concrete wall and people were shooting adjacent to us. I was scared shitless. I wanted to leave but was too scared to even leave the stall again. It was a strange feeling, it’s not like they’re going to turn around and shoot me, but the thought that bullets were flying in the room and shells ejecting everywhere made me feel vulnerable. Or it might have been the thought that I was in the same room as 21yr kids messing around with guns. CB was loading his gun. I kept close to the concrete wall covering my ears. I could feel the shooting from the guy next to us. By this time I was sweating as much as I do after a 6 mi run. The sound of guns firing endlessly was overwhelming. CB handed me the gun, I stared back blankly and shook my head. So he took the first few shots trying to explain to me what to do, but I could barely hear over the guns firing and the ear plug. Finally, I took my turn and was pleasantly (I’m being sarcastic here) surprised to learn that should I need to shoot someone standing 15 feet away, I can do some serious damage. Not that I can shoot them between the eyes, but it is somewhat unsettling to experience how easy it is to hit a body. It wasn't hard pulling the trigger either, which means you can easily miss fire a gun if the safety isn't on. I did a few more rounds and we started working on target practice. Suddenly I felt like I was at the driving range. My bullets had a tendency to veer to one direction, just like my golf balls did.


Target Practice 

I spoke to Mag this morning about it, she laughed at the idea of a ladies night at a firing range. Is that supposed to be an angry X-girlfriend stress relief night? Where you can bring a blown up picture of your X-man and use it as target practice? I don’t think that’ll be a good idea. I'd hate to be the one standing next to an angy chick with a loaded gun. Let's stick to the gym and desserts.

March Madness

March is coming to an end and looking back on all my weekends, this was the best month ever. All the weekend trips and snowboarding!! That is a big deal because ever since I moved from Vancouver I've been missing all the weekend skiing/boarding I used to do. So a quick count, Kirkwood, Alpine, Brighton-Utah, Snowbird-Utah, Las Vegas partying , Napa getting wasted (after one winery, how sad). I also went to a Persian wedding which was very eventful. I got to see all my chiro friends who I've lost touch with since graduation. We all sat a the same table and talked about... what else? chiro doh. We got to the reception at 6:30pm as indicated on the invitation, but the event did not start till 9pm!! shoot, talk about being late!

With all that weekend-fun my running came to a screaching halt. My plan of increasing 1 mile per week seemed to have reversed from 7 mi to an average of 6 miles. In addition, I nearly killed my left Achilles last weekend by trying to squeeze in 6 miles on a treadmill in less than an hour. It didn’t happen, my ankle was hurting and my right ITB was aching. I ended up limping my way home. Smart move Head Dump. I think it's time to join a running group.

I don't do drugs

So yesterday while passing by eachother and making small talk we started "joking" around. You know, those dry pretencious jokes that have absolutely no substance? then I gave my Oscar winning laugh. So fake. The he blurts "Have you ever done drugs?" No, oh Nnooooooooo, I wouldn't even have the slightest clue where to get them if I wanted some. "you know, that's very rare, most people have done drugs, I never tried it either!" I don't know why he brought up this subject again. Boss does it at the most random moments, constantly picking my history to see if I've tried anything. Is it even any of his business? Is it? And if I have, does he really think I'll tell my buddy Boss that I have? sheesh.

smoke this

Of all the habits for me to pick up, why oh why does smoking have to be one of them? I used to hate the smell of smoke. It would irritate me to the point that I'd get snappy. Then I slowly got used to it, then I would try it now and then. Then I'd smoke socially, but social smoking didn't last long when I found out I'd pass out within a matter of seconds if I was drinking at the same time. Now, I stand outside the front door late at night and enjoy a smoke when I have a bad day, which seems to be nearly everyday.

and you know my name is Simon

There's these childhood songs that I frequently hum.. usually starts off unconsciously out of the blue for whatever reason. "Simon" is one of them, and I'm not even sure if i've got the lyrics right since I was still speaking Chinglish at that time. I remember I used to sing to Casper too when I was a kid. "Casper the friendly ghost lala lala la la la... (repeat x 10)" I didn't know the words to that either, and the singing would be cut short everytime the evil sisters poked fun of my English 'cuz I couldn't finish the song. Biatches... you guys were the adopted ones!!

Then there's this other one which I have no idea where I got it from, and I can never remember how it goes when I want to. It's something that just comes out of me, usually when I'm in a good mood. Most of the time I hum it when I'm at home or when I'm day dreaming. I won't even realize I'm huming until I stop and silence takes over. Then I'd try to hum it again and I CAN'T! I CAN'T remember how it goes. sheesh.

that's all I wanted to say, thank you for reading.

oh oh oh, I get Saturday the 26th off, Boss' Wife decided to give us a day off since it's Easter weekend. yayayayay More snowboarding!!! More drinking Friday night.

happy birthday Joe

This blog is for the healthiest, most energetic 83 year old I know. He turned 83 yesterday and at 5’6 and 155lb, he’s in better shape than a lot of the guys I know in their 20s. He’s amazingly lean for his age (again, leaner than most 20 year olds I know) and remains cognizant of everything I explain to him. (mmm.. also smarter than most boys I know)
His hobbies include walking and gardening. He wakes up early every morning to help the ladies around his neighborhood with their gardens. He says with a slight Japanese accent "the ladies are too old and have trouble maintaining their lawns so (he) likes to help them out." He comes in early in the morning from Half Moon Bay with dirt still in his finger nails. He’s always well dressed and always smiling. Aside from the use of hearing aids and arcus senilis in his eyes I can only hope to be as healthy, active and alert as him when I reach 83. If you’re wondering why he came in if he’s healthy? Well, some shingles fell on his head about 20 years ago and he’s had an achy left shoulder since then. He’s been to several doctors, physical therapists, acupuncturists, chiropractors and hasn’t found much relief. So, here’s a little shameless plug on my part. I said to Joe on his second visit, “I haven’t had one shoulder problem I haven’t been able to take care of.” Then I thought to myself.. dear god, please don’t him be my first. After two visits he tells me he can finally sleep better at night and I’m his favorite doctor!! YAY! I love you too Joe!

itsy bitsy spider

I drove out of my gym's parking garage this afternoon, making a left to the stop light as I've done several times before. I waited at the stop light wondering whether this time I'll be able to make it past the second set of lights and drive directly onto the freeway. Then I see the small brown spider on my windshield crawling up towards the roof of the car. I lean forward to observe it "damn, it's on the inside" The light turns green, oh shit, I stepped on the peddle while looking for something to kill it with and keeping a close eye on that sucker, and oh, the road, the road, must look at the road. I had to act fast before it craws to the top and starts hanging down in front of me, teasing me, or worse yet, on top of my head weaving a web into my hair. I stopped at the following red light, I don't care to hit the green on this trip. I must act fast before the light changes. I found a piece of paper and smacked it against the windshield, always using more force than needed. Then I ran my other hand up and down the paper to make sure it's flat, so that sucker is not just dead, but it's REALLY dead.. as in, it's not going to craw onto your hand dead. I've done this enough times to know that you must smack harder than need to, double it up with an extra hit or that thing, whatever that thing is, will come alive!

Ok, mission accomplished, paper placed on the side to be thrown away, green light in front of me, I"m ready to go back to work. Then a flash of memory occured, DK in the drivers seat, covering his head with his hooded sweatshirt at the mere mention of 'spider'. How is he going to take care of a situation like this? Pull over?

starch spray

I finally tried using starch sprays when ironing my shirts. I can't believe the difference it makes, espeically on cotton shirts! It practically makes the shirt new again! The colour shines brighter and it definitely takes out those little wrinkles that never seem to go away, no matter how hard you press down. For 99 cents a can, that's the best buy I made from Target.

testing hello

So Tine' was telling about using Hello to post pictures on to Blog. She said it was easy. So I was all excited and looked into it several times. But the site had information relating to sales of drugs rather than anything about pictures. So I figured I'd ask Tine when I see her. Then I'd forget to ask her by the time I got home. A few weeks later I would ask her again. Same words..."you have to download it from Hello, it's easy" I'd go into their site and once again, it's the drug stuff. Finally, at work I emailed her. "Tine, this happy.com stuff isn't working out"

I have no idea how hello translated to Happy from the moment I stepped out of the house to the minute I stepped into work. Anyhow, a month later, I think I got it down. I had to find a picture to post.. I thought this one was funny, 'cuz I was drunk, sleepy and...



I look like shit

Cards and letters

I used to keep all my notes, cards, even my agenda and calendars from highschool. Finally I moved and I painstakingly forced myself to toss away most of my high school notes from friends, love letters and old birthday, Christmas etc. cards. It was time to toss those agendas and calendars too. I just had an odd habit of keeping a close timeline of the things I did. I used to write down everything I did daily! I'd flip back on my calendar and think " oh wow, I got menstrual cramps that day, how wonderful." I still keep notes from ex-boyfriends and all those little things; those were a little too sentimental to throw away. I also save things from my parents and sister (Grace). But with each passing birthday and Christmas and whatever other day’s people decide to hand you a card, they do accumulate and take up space. Eventually my size 6.5 shoebox simply can’t bear another Hallmark holiday. I feel awful throwing away cards. People do take time searching for the perfect card (someone elses words) to express their feelings. But at the same time, I don’t have space for your feelings. Ouch, that’s harsh. Can I place an expiration date on feelings? Like, if it was received 3 years ago, can it be tossed? Or maybe 1 month ago? Or yesterday? How long is one supposed to keep them for? I must admit, I do keep things from those closer to me, mostly loved ones. But am I disrespecting someone by throwing away his or her cards too early (what’s early)? Let’s take The Boss for example. His shit goes in the trash faster than I can read it. But that’s ‘cuz his wishes usually come on a scrap piece of paper he pulled out of the recycling bin folded in half. Ok, that’s not true, but it’s not far from it.

Lunges

Guys seem to enjoy that feeling of soreness in their muscles the day after a work out. The pain of lactic acid build up and minute ripping of soft tissues causing the muscles to ache and swell. I, on the other hand, prefer to keep the weights to a minimum while increasing my reps so I don't have to endure the soreness the following day. I also don't like to grunt and puff and feel my face swell with redness while pushing my last rep. J.Y likes to say that if you're not hurting, you're not working out hard enough. Whatever. If anyone's seen my arms while I work out they'd tell me to ease up, it's so unfeminine. eww..

So on Friday I decided to vary my work out and do lunges instead of leg curls and extensions. Lunges usually work my legs more, but never to the extent of cramps like I experienced that day. My legs wobbled as I stepped forward and I quickly stopped to stretch before I started whimpering in agony. My hamstrings and gluts started to spasm. I couldn't even continue to finish my set. I would never have guessed that I'd be this sore the days after. It's getting better, as usual, but I can barely walk up stairs without using the railing. Last night I couldn't even curl into a fetal position to sleep because it stretched my butt muscles and it HURT!

The saddest part is getting on the toilet. There's no arm rests so I'm anchoring onto the shower door and counter top just to lower myself. It's so pathetic.

Sunday, was a day to sober up and do some cleaning. Since my legs were sore, it gave me an excuse to skip my work out. I laid in bed most of the day reading Angels & Demons. Luckily Tine and DK reminded me where they had parked my car Sat night, otherwise I'd walk out this morning freaking out.

7 miles

At approximately 2:10pm yesterday marked a moment for myself to be proud of. I did my first 7 mile run. I guess from this point on wards it's simply pushing myself to run further and further till I hit 24 miles. But the best part was checking my time...1 hour 6 min 45 sec =) Ok, I wasn't the fastest runner on the trail, but shiet, I was pretty impressed. That just made my day.

V-day weekend bleh..

This year I decided to give myself something for Valentines. Which is great, single people deserve TLC too. On Sunday I walked into Macy's at Hillsdale and was surprised to see the place packed with men leaning over glass counters searching for the perfect gift. Some stood anxiously around the jewelry carousel holding up earings, uncertain on how to judge its' beauty. Boys sampled perfumes and quietly discussed which is best for their girl. I thought it was a very sweet sight. I walked into Express and got myself a pair of pants and shirt. That was good enough for me. I was searching for a jacket too, but I couldn't find one.

So for Valentines evening I went to watch "how we first met" with a friend. We missed the first half since traffic was such a pain trying to reach Fort Mason. The 2nd couple that they interviewed was so boring that there was hardly anything comedic about their relationship. All the girl could say was that she wasn't interested in him at first, and she emphasized it so frequently that it made everyone feel uneasy, does she even like this guy? Though part of the show was funny, I wouldn't recommend it, it's too inconsistent depending on the couple they interview. The first couple was good but we walked out of there feeling rather unsatisfied, especially when we rushed there after work.

We went for dinner at Ana Mandara after. The place was packed with couples.. well, what did I expect? The place is nice, it was a set menu though, so the food was ok. The steak was disappointingly over done. How can a restaurant like that charge what they charge and mess up your steak? I do like their drinks, but I wouldn't care to go there again either.

By the time the night was over, I was just happy to crash into bed. I would've had a better time watching a video by myself and eating instant noodles. I don't know why I felt the need to do something Valentines night. I guess I just like the idea of celebrating special days.

The talk

I spent a total of 1 hour in The Boss' office. Luckily I wore a black collared shirt today 'cuz I never felt so sweaty by just sitting in there trying to maintain my cool. "you want to take this weekend off and another 2 weeks from that?" I searched my room for answers.. yes? "there's no way" Why not? I get vacation time don't I? "oh you want to use those days.." 30 minutes later "... you do want your practice to grow don't you?.. it can't grow unless you put a lot of work into it.. " I want MY practice to grow, not yours bitch. Of course I do, but I also believe in enjoying life to remind myself why I work so hard. "I just want you to understand that if you want to grow you're going to have to put in more than 40 hour weeks and in my first year of practice I never took weekends off" i'm not you.

When did it become so fuckn hard to just ask for a few days off? How am I ever going to go on a long vacation? I'm So friggin pissed.

Food Allergy

My sister Celia has seasonal allergies. Every spring time when the flowers bloom and lawns get clipped, she develops these short mouse like sneezes.. usually consistently rhythmic. Ha choo choo (pause) choo choo choo, it’s her trademark sneeze. We’d like to count how many times she can sneeze in a row. My little sister, Grace, sneezes like that too. They both have lots in common.

So, Celia was the first person to introduce me to the concept of allergies. As I meet more people in life, I'm surprised to learn about all the various allergic reactions out there. My elementary friend P. was allergic to chocolate. As a 10 year old I thought that was the most tragic thing that could possibly happen to someone. I would never wish that upon anyone! Now, diabetes is up there on my tragic life ailments list too. But that’s not an allergy and I don’t want to diverge.

Um…(searching brain, where was I?) There’s common allergies like dogs, cats, nuts etc.. CN is allergic to Brazillian nuts specifically and DK to Mac. A few new ones to me are VA’s allergy to pears/ apples or something like that. I always felt allergies were such a pain. Some people don’t even realize they’re experiencing a reaction and thinks it’s normal to have that itchy feeling in their throat when they eat nuts!

So, I’ve been pretty pleased that I don’t have any allergies. Until today. I’m having this curry for lunch and it’s making my tongue feel numb. Sort of a tingling feeling like there’s a current running through it. I felt this once before when I was trying these Dan Dan noodles at a Chinese restaurant. The noodles were awful and it made my tongue feel numb just like this curry did. Now I’m curios if it’s a reaction or if it’s normal! It's kinda scary.

Lip Balms

I have lip balms everywhere. I've got one in my office drawerer "kiss my face" in Apple flavour. One in my purse, "soft lips" Strawberry flavour, my favourite lip balm. One at home by "Burts Bees". I'd keep one in my car too, but then it'll melt and that's not a good idea. So with three lip balms in rotation, I just realized it's going to take me a hell of a long time to finish just one tube! In fact, I don't think I've ever finished a tube of lip balm before. It always gets lost before I'm done with it. Either that or I get bored with it but mostly lost.

Oh, but there was this one time Boss' 18 month old son got a hold of my lip balm. I used it one day wondering why it was all jacked up, smooshed and moist. Then Baby Boss rolls in shortly and climbs onto my chair as he always does.. awe.. how adorable, he played with my keyboard then reached for my lip balm on top of the number keys and started applying it, sucking on it, dipping his fingers into it! WTF? Boss see's it then decides "oh I forgot to tell you, Baby Boss was playing with your lip balm, he likes it.. it's so cute" Cute? Baby Boss jacked up my favourite lip balm, how cute is that? Ok.. did he not think of taking it away from his son? And after seeing how jacked up it was, did he not think about replacing it? It's just a lip balm, but still, don't let your kid damange other people property and brush it off as OK because he's a kid.

I never applied so much lip balm when I was up in Vancouver, I wonder if there's a side effect of using it so much. Like, my lips will tend to chap more often if I don't use it. But they also serve to protect my lips from UV radiation. It's just one of those things I keep around.

mm.. dinner

I really want to be a better cook. But it’s so hard to cook after work when you’re tired and would rather sit back and boil a pot of water for dumplings or instant noodles. Some nights I like to get fancy and crack an egg in my noodles.. oooh.. Iron chef here I come. Pasta requires a little more work. One pot for the noodles and another pot for the sauce. That’s double the pots, double the clean up. I can also kick that up a notch and add ground beef.

The George Foremen grill is also great, though I haven’t used it in a long time. It makes the grilled chicken or whatever you put in there too tough and chewy, but it sure beats what I had for dinner last night. A Twix bar before my toastmasters meeting and half a bag of Chex mix, a few bites of pineapple during the snack portion of the meeting then I went home. Still feeling unsatisfied I tossed in two chocolate covered macadamia nuts while I searched around the kitchen for food. I reached for two eggo waffles, toasted then buttered. Mm… still hungry. I reached for the remainder of my Chex Mix. It was almost 11pm.. nothing was going to satiate me that night, so I just drank lots of water to rid the salty chex mix and called it a meal.

Outlook help

This post if from MT and me. Does anyone know how to add another account onto outlook? Specifically yahoo and AOL. i know how to add hotmail, it was pretty straight forward, but we don't know what to type in as our "server" or out going server, is it a pop3 account? HTML?? what??? is this even do-able?

Worceshire sauce

Ok, i'm refraining from using a dictionary to spell that word, worceshire. That's not my only problem with that word though. I always mess up it's pronouciation. Everytime I say that word it's like I'm speaking a foreign word, like when I speak Taiwanese or something. When I speak it with my grandma the words sort of roll out. Then when I think of the words too much, I lose it and I forget how to say it and it just doesn't sound right anymore. That's the same as wor-sch-er sauce. Is that how you say it? or wor-cher-shire sauce?

I'm not the only problem with this too! I thought I could blame it on my ESL but M.T. got confused with the word after our lengthy discussion. Moi couldn't spell it either. I wonder if that word ever gets used on Spelling Bees.

(later the same day)

HD runs to CS's door.

"C.S, say wor-scher sauce"
what? wor***** um..
"ok, could you spell it?"
W-O-R-C-***

I"m definetly not the only one.

So with C.S's help she found the spelling for me because I couldn't get it from Dictionary.com my spelling was way too off to be recognizable.

ready guys???

WORCESTERSHIRE

and it's pronounced wus'ter-sher, there's some funky characters on a few of those vowels, but i don't know how to add them on.

phew.. I can now move on with my life.

You oughta know!

I want you to know that I'm happy for you, I wish nothing but the best for you both.
An older version of me Is she perverted like me? Would she go down on your in a theater?
Does she speak eloquently?
And would she have your baby?
I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother.
'Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me Until you died,
'til you died
But you're still alive
And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know
You seem very well, things look peaceful, I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know.
Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity I hate to but you in the middle of dinner
It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced .
Are you thinking of me when you fuck her?
'Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name Does she know how you told me you'd hold me Until you died, 'til you died
But you're sill alive
And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away.
It's not fair to deny me Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know
'Cause the joke that you laid in the bed that was me
And I'm not gonna fade As soon as you close your eyes
and you know it
And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back
I hope you feel it...well can you feel it?




pissed? who me? nah...

Toby Lightman-Everyday

Everyday is a struggle between what I wanna say
And what I should keep to myself
And the words that manage to leave my lips
Don't hurt me, but they hurt everyone else
And I find myself in need of a pause
I'm not sure why, but I think that it's because
Of this desire to be what others want me to be
Which is nothing close to me

[Chorus:]But I'll see better when the smoke clears
When the smoke clears inside my head
And I can listen when the screaming doesn't repeat everything I've said
And all that remains me and who I am at the end of the day
And this happens everyday

Everyday is a battle between what I wanna know
And what I don't wanna figure out
And everything in between in these thoughts of mine
That you know I can't live with out
And I find myself in need of a pause
I'm not sure why, but I think that it's because
Of this desire to be what others want me to be
Which is nothing close to me

6 miles

I did my sencond off-treadmill 6 mile run yesterday. The first time was Thursday when I got 2.5 miles into the run and debated if I should turn back. Since I wasn't winded yet, I went the extra .5 miles, making the round trip 6 miles. I was definetly proud of myself. I tried it again yesterday, and I think I can make it a routine distance now. I'm aiming for a marathon, but with Van's advice I'll try not to leap too far and look for a half marathon to do. The trail I run is 6 miles one way. I've considered running the whole way, which would leave me no option but to run the whole 12 miles to get back. But I"ll leave that for a stupid day when I feel like killing my legs. Why do I run? Aside from the good workout, I like the euphoric feeling it leaves me. It helps pump up my adrenalin and relieve everyday stress. On bad days, I'll take out my frustrations on the trails and run harder. Then I get winded and too tired to think of anything but my aching thighs, butt, chest. Plus I think it depletes the sugar from my brain leaving me incapable of thinking too much. Which apparently is a common problems with women. There's even a book about it. I get this little buzz in my brain and though it only lasts a few minutes after the run it's the only time my mind is clear of all the shit I breath in everyday.

The other night during a few drinks the topic of the "ultra marathon man" came up. He's a 40 something year old San Franciscan, a husband and father. One night after an upsetting evening with his friends, he took off running from S.F. all the way to Half Moon Bay. He started running from that point on. Now he plans on running one marathon a day through the 50 states! That's 26.4 miles FYI. Now, I'm not going to take off one day and run my way home to Vancouver or anything, but I can see how running works for some people. I just have to make sure I don't injure myself while training. I can already feel my ITB giving problems.

Lesson 2

I've had 2 guitar lessons so far. I wasn't sure how the instructor had planned on teaching the course. How was he going to present materials to students who knew how to read music and those who don't? Well, he simply layed out the music sheet and roughly tought us how to read. I was ok with it since I already know music, but it sure pissed the hell out of MT and now she isn't planning on going anymore. It is very boring though. We spend the whole time playing scales on the guitar and some simple music pieces such as the "ode to joy". We haven't learned to play chords yet, and it doesn't look like he's going to teach them until the very end. Which really sucks because we won't be learning any cool music. bleh...

6 days later

May 2004 till the end of the year 2004 seemed to have flown by. Nearly everyday was spent trying to accomplish the same task. Trying to get through the day. Normally when the new year rolls around, I spend a good month correcting written dates " mm/dd/2004". But this year, it didn't seem to bother me at all. It didn't take much thought to scribble 2005. In fact, 6 days later, I haven't made a mistake at all. In retrospect, I haven't accomplished much in the past year. I've done alot. Alot of moving that is. But I've achieved so little. Looking around, I think alot of people were happy to step into a new year, hoping for a better future. In terms of relationships, it seems as though 2004 was filled with break ups and divorces. The closest people around me all seemed to have been struggling in emotional turmoil. And coincidentally, those issues seemingly resolve on their own around this time. It's as though we all decided to start the New Year with a clean slate. Throw away your baggage. Hm, this is sounding a little blue.
On the brighter note, I start my guitar lessons next Tuesday night. Finally learn what to do with that thing. It's been collecting dust in the corner of my room and painfully out of tune. I"m tired of playing the same CGDA chords. I tried palying silent night for the holidays, but never mastered it. Hopefully by the summer time I can play somthing decent.

Happy New Year! 2005

How can this be? 4:35 Am and I am still awake! This is unlike me, and rather frustrating. I can't sleep. I don't know how to cope with this force that's keeping me awake. I never had to deal with it before. New Years Eve was alright, I was in good company but the crowd was 100% Asian. They were So Asian, plenty of people were speaking Chinese. I haven't been in that kind of crowd since Vancouver. In addition, geeky guys attempting to dance and picking up chicks. It's a sad sight. Girls dressed in haulter tops and skirts that barely cover their asses, guys digging the scene just to be stared down by the same girls dressed for selective attention. I'm buzzed. I can't sleep. And blogging isn't helping. I can't stand laying in bed more than 5 minutes without being able to fall asleep! blah..

back to work

This scene is vaguely familiar. Sitting in front of my computer at work blogging because The Boss is away for the week. Except he's not completely away, he's still in town, and had already paid us an unexpected visit at 10:30am this morning. He walked through the front door dressed in an unfamiliar green parka with an orange cap. I thought he was the electrician or something. We were all standing near the front desk bitching about work, only one of us recognized him and she walked up front to greet him. But as she approached him he was already walking towards us and caught us in the middle of discussion. Luckily we were weren't saying too much.

There's a heavy tension in the air between the staff and The Boss. I can sense the day approaching when he's going to get rained on by all of us. It's already happening, one member at a time, by the two bravest (most confrontational) one's, of course. So far, I just sit back and listen to their triumphant stories and wish I had the nerves to step up and give him a piece of my mind. Except I need to formulate my thoughts thoroughly before I step in there and get fired or end up quitting myself.

Listening to all the bickering is probably one of the best learned lessons for myself. At some point I will become The Boss and I only hope the bitching that goes on behind my back will not be as intense. I'm not ignorant to the fact that this sort of office gossip does happen and there will be several occasions when I will be disliked. But this environment sure doesn't shed light on how to keep your staff happy.

Anyhow, to brighter things. I drove down to Irvine to visit some cousins from Taiwan. A 6 hour drive through 152 and I5. 152 was really nice. I5 was boring as usual. If you stole a car on I5 with THE CLUB on it, you can probably drive pretty far on that straight road. To make that road worse, there was heavy fog that slowed traffic down from 100mph to 50mph. It's those drivers who think their fast (driving on the fast lane) that blocks up all the traffic. oh wait, brighter subjects..... it was nice seeing my two not so little cousins again. 18 and 19 with make up on and shopping for V-neck sweaters that drop down to their belly. The sweater was made of light see through cashmere. "What do you wear underneath that?", "nothing" replied the 18 years old, with eyes wide not understanding the point of my question. Fine.

For dinner we went to this really good Japanese restaurant, newly opened by two chefs who branched off on their own. We ordered loads of Sashimi and bottles of cold Sake. Damn, those girls can shop AND drink. Then again, anyone can out drink me. The following night their mom calls me asking me to remind her girls to "study hard" "behave", the typical chinese stuff. I was actually thinking how nice it is that they've finally caught up to age and can "play" with the rest of us.

New Hours

My Boss decided to have new hours for our office. I no longer get to sleep in on Tuesdays and I have to work every Sat. as opposed to getting to sneak a few saturdays off. I'm so bitter about my losing my Tuesday mornings. That's the only day I get to wake up an hour later, work out then have a decent breakfast. I can almost hear some of you say there's lots of people who work 50 hour weeks blah blah blah. I dont' give a crap, pay me a lot more and I'll put in my extra hours too. I was starting to feel comfortable at my job but this was the first week I woke up daily wondering how to get myself out of that hole.

counting down

4 more days till I get my break. This thought is making my week very long. What am I going to do during my break? I think I'll go hiking everyday, then once I hit the peak, just sit and read a little then hike back down. Either that or I'll end up at the mall shopping more for myself. and god forbid I just sit at home doing nothing. Am I even capable of doing that? I'll end up reading, watching TV and doing laundry at the same time.

This past weekend I went bar hopping with my friends. I managed to stay awake the whole night till we got in the car. I was very proud of myself. My formula is to workout an hour before I leave and drink lots of coffee and water after the workout. The dehydration seems to help suck the caffeine into my body better.

Tis the season

To be shopping fa la la la la

For every gift I've made this season I seem to have doubled one for myself too. This Christmas is getting to be very expensive. Due to my lack of discipline on keeping to "the list" , "the list" I'm having to shorten the list or find cheaper gifts. oops.

This week has been very slow at work. I often find myself walking to the staff "lunch" room to be entertained by the millions of ants attacking the cookies there. I love my co-workers, but for some reason they just don't get it. Ants are crawling all over this bowl of packaged cookies that they managed to rip their way into. I don't know where to begin to clean them up. They're pouring out of the bowl like a black waterfall. Today I tried using tape. I got so bored so I grabbed packaging tape and placed a few strips on the counter. I left it at that. Maybe that'll help disperse them. Hold on, let me go check. um, No, I think they called for back up instead.

Thank god it's Friday

There they go.

This month two friends will be leaving the Bay Area. Friends are hard to come by, and it's so sad to see two take off just like that. I'm so proud of them. I know some of us are unsatisfied with the stage we are in our lives. I've often considered moving and leaving this place too, but I'm scared. So, to see two of them packing up, moving far far away to achieve what they want is very inspring for me. It's do-able, things will be ok and I could leave if I want. Will I do it? Probably no time soon, still to chicken shit.

Gosh, with those two gone who's going to share my MJ with me?

Squirl's been a good friend from the start, we hit it off with a comfort level like sisters share. You know, the one where you can bitch at eachother and know it's ok 'cuz there's no escaping this relationship. But alas, she's taking her loud Cosmopolitan/Malibu Orange voice to a city large enough to accomodate her vocal range. The next two weeks will be dedicated towards doing things squirl's been wanting to do, but never got the chance to do in the Bay Area. Like going to the mystery spot. Gosh, that place is boring, but I already made a point that i'm only going if I get to be drunk when I step in. Maybe it'll counter balance my drunken equilibrium.