After returing from my wedding I went straight into preparation of acquiring a new business. There was much to be done and lots for me to learn. The learning never ends and everything I read and heard about owing my own business was true. Shortly after the office opened my partner and I met up with a personal injury attorney. He's well into his 60's, in great shape and offered several tips through his casual laughter. His favourite tip of all, as he said it many times "the best thing about owning your own business is that you get to work any 80 hour weeks you want." I bumped into another collegue at the gym the other day and she giggled as I told her I still have much to be done. She reminded me to get some sleep. ?? Of course I sleep, or do I? No, I really don't. It's very light sleep, something I'm unaccustomed to. I wake up many times in the night and everytime I wake, I'm fully awake. I check the time to make sure I didn't over sleep then I start rehearsing the things I need to do the next day. I dont' know how long those thoughts last before I truly fall asleep again. The first month, I drove to work with the most excitement I ever felt in years. Now the excitement remains but I'm so tired. I gather up my energy before I walk through the door and act like the boss that I'm supposed to be, bright eyed bushy tailed, full of energy, the "picture of health" as one of my patient calls me. I used to feel that way. Now I skip my lunch work-outs because there's always little errands to be done. There's so much running through my head that I ignore most phone calls except for one particular friend, who might even have ideas that I'm ignoring her. Well, compare to others, bitch, you're the only one I ignore the least.
There are days I feel proud of myself, others days I feel like shit. It's a mix of emotions and a stress level that I've yet to learn to deal with. Thank god I love what I do, I can't imagine puting up with this stress over something I feel mediocre about.
I have to give thanks to all my friends and family through this period. I've received so much support, encouragement and help that it really made things so much easier. I'm incredibly touched with everyone's encouraging words and knowing they're ready to help. CB's been incredible as well. He's been doing most of the cooking and cleaning at home and making sure I eat. We haven't spent much quality time lately, luckily he's a man and not emotionally needy. If the roles were reversed I think I'd bitch about lack of attention. It also works out that CB's got a project at work that he's incredibly busy with.
Time passes fast though. Quarter of the year has already passed and now I need to make sure the office does well the second quarter. It's such a crazy race. And I know it'll always be like this.
