Worceshire sauce

Ok, i'm refraining from using a dictionary to spell that word, worceshire. That's not my only problem with that word though. I always mess up it's pronouciation. Everytime I say that word it's like I'm speaking a foreign word, like when I speak Taiwanese or something. When I speak it with my grandma the words sort of roll out. Then when I think of the words too much, I lose it and I forget how to say it and it just doesn't sound right anymore. That's the same as wor-sch-er sauce. Is that how you say it? or wor-cher-shire sauce?

I'm not the only problem with this too! I thought I could blame it on my ESL but M.T. got confused with the word after our lengthy discussion. Moi couldn't spell it either. I wonder if that word ever gets used on Spelling Bees.

(later the same day)

HD runs to CS's door.

"C.S, say wor-scher sauce"
what? wor***** um..
"ok, could you spell it?"
W-O-R-C-***

I"m definetly not the only one.

So with C.S's help she found the spelling for me because I couldn't get it from Dictionary.com my spelling was way too off to be recognizable.

ready guys???

WORCESTERSHIRE

and it's pronounced wus'ter-sher, there's some funky characters on a few of those vowels, but i don't know how to add them on.

phew.. I can now move on with my life.

You oughta know!

I want you to know that I'm happy for you, I wish nothing but the best for you both.
An older version of me Is she perverted like me? Would she go down on your in a theater?
Does she speak eloquently?
And would she have your baby?
I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother.
'Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me Until you died,
'til you died
But you're still alive
And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know
You seem very well, things look peaceful, I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know.
Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity I hate to but you in the middle of dinner
It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced .
Are you thinking of me when you fuck her?
'Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name Does she know how you told me you'd hold me Until you died, 'til you died
But you're sill alive
And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away.
It's not fair to deny me Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know
'Cause the joke that you laid in the bed that was me
And I'm not gonna fade As soon as you close your eyes
and you know it
And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back
I hope you feel it...well can you feel it?




pissed? who me? nah...

Toby Lightman-Everyday

Everyday is a struggle between what I wanna say
And what I should keep to myself
And the words that manage to leave my lips
Don't hurt me, but they hurt everyone else
And I find myself in need of a pause
I'm not sure why, but I think that it's because
Of this desire to be what others want me to be
Which is nothing close to me

[Chorus:]But I'll see better when the smoke clears
When the smoke clears inside my head
And I can listen when the screaming doesn't repeat everything I've said
And all that remains me and who I am at the end of the day
And this happens everyday

Everyday is a battle between what I wanna know
And what I don't wanna figure out
And everything in between in these thoughts of mine
That you know I can't live with out
And I find myself in need of a pause
I'm not sure why, but I think that it's because
Of this desire to be what others want me to be
Which is nothing close to me

6 miles

I did my sencond off-treadmill 6 mile run yesterday. The first time was Thursday when I got 2.5 miles into the run and debated if I should turn back. Since I wasn't winded yet, I went the extra .5 miles, making the round trip 6 miles. I was definetly proud of myself. I tried it again yesterday, and I think I can make it a routine distance now. I'm aiming for a marathon, but with Van's advice I'll try not to leap too far and look for a half marathon to do. The trail I run is 6 miles one way. I've considered running the whole way, which would leave me no option but to run the whole 12 miles to get back. But I"ll leave that for a stupid day when I feel like killing my legs. Why do I run? Aside from the good workout, I like the euphoric feeling it leaves me. It helps pump up my adrenalin and relieve everyday stress. On bad days, I'll take out my frustrations on the trails and run harder. Then I get winded and too tired to think of anything but my aching thighs, butt, chest. Plus I think it depletes the sugar from my brain leaving me incapable of thinking too much. Which apparently is a common problems with women. There's even a book about it. I get this little buzz in my brain and though it only lasts a few minutes after the run it's the only time my mind is clear of all the shit I breath in everyday.

The other night during a few drinks the topic of the "ultra marathon man" came up. He's a 40 something year old San Franciscan, a husband and father. One night after an upsetting evening with his friends, he took off running from S.F. all the way to Half Moon Bay. He started running from that point on. Now he plans on running one marathon a day through the 50 states! That's 26.4 miles FYI. Now, I'm not going to take off one day and run my way home to Vancouver or anything, but I can see how running works for some people. I just have to make sure I don't injure myself while training. I can already feel my ITB giving problems.

Lesson 2

I've had 2 guitar lessons so far. I wasn't sure how the instructor had planned on teaching the course. How was he going to present materials to students who knew how to read music and those who don't? Well, he simply layed out the music sheet and roughly tought us how to read. I was ok with it since I already know music, but it sure pissed the hell out of MT and now she isn't planning on going anymore. It is very boring though. We spend the whole time playing scales on the guitar and some simple music pieces such as the "ode to joy". We haven't learned to play chords yet, and it doesn't look like he's going to teach them until the very end. Which really sucks because we won't be learning any cool music. bleh...

6 days later

May 2004 till the end of the year 2004 seemed to have flown by. Nearly everyday was spent trying to accomplish the same task. Trying to get through the day. Normally when the new year rolls around, I spend a good month correcting written dates " mm/dd/2004". But this year, it didn't seem to bother me at all. It didn't take much thought to scribble 2005. In fact, 6 days later, I haven't made a mistake at all. In retrospect, I haven't accomplished much in the past year. I've done alot. Alot of moving that is. But I've achieved so little. Looking around, I think alot of people were happy to step into a new year, hoping for a better future. In terms of relationships, it seems as though 2004 was filled with break ups and divorces. The closest people around me all seemed to have been struggling in emotional turmoil. And coincidentally, those issues seemingly resolve on their own around this time. It's as though we all decided to start the New Year with a clean slate. Throw away your baggage. Hm, this is sounding a little blue.
On the brighter note, I start my guitar lessons next Tuesday night. Finally learn what to do with that thing. It's been collecting dust in the corner of my room and painfully out of tune. I"m tired of playing the same CGDA chords. I tried palying silent night for the holidays, but never mastered it. Hopefully by the summer time I can play somthing decent.

Happy New Year! 2005

How can this be? 4:35 Am and I am still awake! This is unlike me, and rather frustrating. I can't sleep. I don't know how to cope with this force that's keeping me awake. I never had to deal with it before. New Years Eve was alright, I was in good company but the crowd was 100% Asian. They were So Asian, plenty of people were speaking Chinese. I haven't been in that kind of crowd since Vancouver. In addition, geeky guys attempting to dance and picking up chicks. It's a sad sight. Girls dressed in haulter tops and skirts that barely cover their asses, guys digging the scene just to be stared down by the same girls dressed for selective attention. I'm buzzed. I can't sleep. And blogging isn't helping. I can't stand laying in bed more than 5 minutes without being able to fall asleep! blah..