For the most part I've always been the pusher in the relationship. Trying to push it to the next level. Pushing for more attention, pushing for more affection, pushing for more of everything.
Then at one point or another I push too hard and all goes to hell. Inevitably, the harder I push the worse I make things.
This time I'm being pushed. It's suffocating, it’s pressuring, it’s unwelcoming, it's irritating. Now I see how pushing a relationship can push it apart. No one wants to be pushed.
6 comments:
I've never been the pusher, but I've always been the one to let it be pushed to the next level. And at some point, I realize how far it's been pushed (usually after the fact) and then I start freaking out in hindsight.
But now, funny, I'm being more proactive about pushing -- pushing back, that is, in the hopes of not hurting her in the future. And suddenly, I feel like pushing back is just wrong; maybe I should just let it flow wherever it wants to.
Pushing back isn't wrong. In fact it's better to slow things down if your intentions are not the same as hers. You don't want to give her the wrong expectations.
Yah pushing isn't a good thing when you're pushing for more...there's always room for discussions but pushing really drives people away especially if they aren't ready for what you are pushing for.
Pushing back is a good thing...it really tells the other person where you stand in the relationship.
I'm usually a pushover; end up giving in to the pusher. Still learning to be the backpusher, but in a nice gentle way that lets them know I'm still dealing with my mountains of personal issues and it's probably better if they don't get mixed into it because dammit that's just not a good way for anyone.
Some people need to be pushed to make them realize what they're missing out.
but if you push too hard, you would push them away.
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