I miss you

It’s easy to tell CB I miss him, it comes out without hesitation when the feeling comes to me. I tell my family I miss them too, but I usually let the feeling build up a bit before I utter the sentimental words. We’re just not the smooshie type of family, quite typical of Asians. But we keep in touch with regular emails and adequate Skype time (with video) so I’m a safe distance away from breaking down and saying I miss you.

My close friends? No problem. If you’re reading this and I haven’t emailed or talked to you in a while… I miss you.

Then there are those friends who I’ve lost touch with. We were close at one point, saw each other frequently then we got busy, parted our separate ways and don’t even chat online to say hello. I see their names online, it’s highlighted, I know they’re only a click away and I think to myself “at least I see their name light-up and I know their still around” What kind of thought is that? Am I waiting for something bad to happen before I hit that button on the mouse? Some of these friends I haven’t spoken to in years, and we used to drive 40min up to SFU every morning then 60 min on the way back down. Then we’d head over to each others’ house to study after dinner and have sleepovers during exams. We used to know all about each other and after so much time has past saying I miss you just feels awkward. So I won’t say those words, it just doesn’t make sense to say I miss you and I’ve seen you online so many times but I’m just too damn lazy to hit the button to start chatting with you because I’m busy surfing online on four different web pages and adding another chat session would just slow me down. But I do miss you.