The best gift to your children

I take care of strangers and preach about good health. But the people I care about, my family and friends never hear it. So, time to time I'll share them. And by the way, I'll always take care of my friends at no charge. What's the point of having these healing hands if the one's I care about never benefit from them?

Since I'm starting to feel maternal, here's the first bit.

The best gift you can give your children is to take care of your physical health and financial health.

Perhaps you share the same concerns with me when it comes to our parents. I'm always worried about their health and retirement. So, think about how your kids may worry about you.

Our generation is having children later in life, which means our children will bear the burden of caring for us at an earlier age and for a much longer period, as human lifespan is now longer.

Just as our children are beginning to start their own families, building their careers, they may already feel the pressure of your age. I just wouldn't want to place that kind of burden and stress on my children.

Just a little something to think about before you compromise your health or retirement fund for that designer silver pacifier that your baby 'needs'.

Health Insurance

If you're a healthy individual that visits your doctor once yearly for check ups, there really isn't any reason to purchase an expensive health plan. Pick a high deductible plan eg. $1000 to $3000+ Pick a deductible you know you can afford to dish out ASAP should you find yourself in dire need of emergency care. These plans may cost as little as $80/mo depending on your age, or even as little as $25 through your company. Remember, the cost doensn't end at the monthly fees. There are co-pays as well. When you choose a high deductible plan, choose to see a doctor on a cash basis. Most offices offer lower fees for not having to deal with insurance companies. You can ask for a superbill and submit the bill to your insurance company to help lower your deductible. Even though you're paying the full fee (possibly discounted fee) for the visit, by the end of the year the savings you've accumulate may be more than the higher monthly fees of a low deductible plan + its' co-pays.

I know most people are concerned about the 'what if I get hospitalized'. Once you step into the hospital and stay over night, your bill will most likely be over $1000. If you get the knife or any additional exams it'll be over $10,000 for sure. So here's another element to look at with your high deductible plan. What is your out of pocket maximum per year? and does your insurance cover at 100% after that? I had a plan with a $3000 deductible before the insurance covers a penny of my care. But after I spend $3000 (the same amount) out of my pocket, the insurance covers 100%. Which means if anything catastrophic happens the maximum I have to pay is $3000 for the year. That plan was $70/mo. Compare this to a plan that was catered to someone who requires lots of doctors visits and medication. This plan has a low deductible of $250, covers 80% of visits and drugs and an out of pocket maximum of $7000 then the insurance covers 80% as usual. Imagine if your procedure was $50,000. do the math....

My Car

With the change in economy my urge to spill my thoughts on my car has now reached a blogging level.
I love my Honda Accord. It gets me from home to work perfectly fine. That car has been with me through SFU, Palmer, LA, Lake Tahoe, Yosemite, Vancouver and back down several times. She's met boyfriends C to N and all the flings in between. She's met girlfriends J to C and feels lucky that no one has puked on her yet. She knows all my gossips and I know her well enough to parallel park her into the tiniest cracks in SF. And though she doesn't look the best, I make sure she runs like a puppy. After 12 years she still gives me approx 33mpg on my daily drives to and from work.

Point is. I never had plans on changing cars. Some say it's time for a new car and I ask why? Give me $300+ worth of reasons every month why I shouldn't continue to enjoy a stress free drive everday. Rocks and scratches may hurt my car but they sure don't hurt my wallet.

I'm going to drive that car till she dies.. which may be another 15+ years, I still see 86 Honda's out there.

loser!!

I hate him so much I'm about to puke. Stupid, egotistic, insecure, LOSER! You're never going to get anywhere in Life, go back to where you came from.

Costume time

Halloween is the day to dress like a whore call it a costume.
I don't like it, but some times I get suckered into it.

Everyone's in Greece

We're headed to Greece for our honeymoon in November. We started planning for it back in June then I started noticing that everyone is going there... three newly weds went there for their honeymoon, then two friends just went there and two patients as well! Maybe I'm just more aware of the country because I'm going there. I can't wait to go away. I'm so sick of seeing CB tied to his laptop and Blackberry.

winded

5 miles on the treadmill today and I was dripping sweat. Quite pathetic. I've spent the least amount of hours in the gym this year and I have my ass to show for it. One of my slacks is a bit shorter because my ass perks it up. I didn't even know pants work that way. CB laughed at me as I walked out the door "is that supposed to be that short?" wah.... NO, my ass took up some length!

oh, I got a new office management software. I'm so excited!

Missing home

I'm missing home again. Times like this I wonder how my life would have been different had I gone home right after graduation. But whenever I go back the city feels so small, yet I still get lost. I only keep in touch with a few friends there and most of the time I stay at home with my sisters. Going about the city just makes me nostalgic and sad.

I was in a pissy mood today so I ordered geoduck at a Chinese restaurant with CB. It was pricey, but having geoduck reminds me of dinners I used to have with my family. CB choked when he saw the $65 charge just for the over sized clam. I didn't know it was THAT expensive! I didn't care, I was in a much better mood after he paid for the meal. I deserved it after having to put up with a crappy day.

I need my cell phone

I called Y today, but not on her cell. She was in Vancouver so I called her home phone, the same number that remains in my memory since highschool. Infact, the only phone numbers that I remember are home numbers from highschool. Though I still remember Y's digits, it has been over 10 years since I dialed them. I started feeling weird and even more nervous when Y's mom answered the phone... "Wei, aunty-ah" I spoke, adding the Chinese accent, I never understood why I did that, I don't even speak Cantonese. "May I speak with Y?" I prepared to give my name and then braced myself to be denied the phone call. Either Y was doing home work or they are having dinner. Instead, aunty spoke sweetly and requested I call back in 10 minutes, Y will be out of the shower soon.

It has also been over 10 years since I had to go through another family member to reach the person I want to speak to. Then I started to wonder how highschool would have been if I had a cell. I just imagine all the late nights I hid beneath the dining table covering my mouth so my parents couldn't hear me. With my cell, I could be in bed talking all night! Sneaking out would have been much easier, no more throwing rocks at windows, no more waiting by the window for your friend to whistle or bark like a dog. It surely would have made meeting up eaiser. All those hours waiting in metro town for friends to show up by bus or sky train would have been spared. Calling my boyfriend would have been easier. ah... cell phones are great, with the exeption that now it becomes expected that you answer or return calls ASAP.

rule of the game

I made a big mistake. I played the game of partnership before having the rules signed and sealed.
Now I have a loser whining because the rules are not what he expected. crap. I told you to agreee on some rules before we start, now stop crying!

So, I layed out the rules again, read it this time, change it if you want, but don't come crying at me again. I don't want to have to deal with you every time you lose.

10 lbs

I gained 10lbs since my wedding.
My jeans barely fit and I get that thigh rubbing thing going on. Shit, even my underwear suffocate my thighs. I'm really only 2 lb heavier than my average weight, but I'm bigger and less toned. Gotta hit that treadmill a bit harder. There really isn't much motivation with there's no one to impress.

Asparagus

mmmm... I love asparagus. but the pee.... eww

no more ....

I don't want anymore sweets. No more chocolate gifts, no more candies, NO MORE.

too much

It was just a casual comment when I said I wanted to go out a bit more before I have kids.
I never intended to drink 3 days/nights in a row. I think I'm still hung over. 2nd Sunday here I come.. then I'm done drinking for the month.

How do you know?

You ever wonder how you always wake up from a car ride when you're close to home?
Is it the change in car speed? getting off the freeway?

How do you manage to wake up just minutes before the alarm goes off?

Half Dome

This hike was something I have been wanting to do since I moved here in 2000. Finally, May of this year the topic was brought up in casual conversation and a few friends and I decided to train for this adventure. The group grew to about 12+ then trickled down to the final 6 who took their first steps towards a 12 hour adventure.



The plan was to start the hike at 5am so we can casually hike up, take breaks and make it down by 4 or 5pm. My cabin was CB and W.H , we woke up at 5am, oops. That's ok, we'll still be okay.

We picked up the other group of 3, BY, my cousin J and her friend Yadi. We had our backpacks ready with plenty of GU shots, Jelly belly sports, energy bars, fruits and water and filter to fill up at the Merced River.

We were well prepared and started up the trail by 6am. Life was good, I was so pumped with my iPOD in my ear, the weather couldn't have been better and the view is beautiful as always. The trails were clear and I was happy knowing we'd beat the tourist crowd to the cables. By 7:30 we were at the Nevada Falls and Glacier point fork. We took the right trail to wards Glacier Point. The signs didn't mention Half Dome, but I knew we weren't going to Nevada Falls, so it must be the Glacier Point trail. That decision became the death of us. After about an hour, rougly 2.5 miles the trail began to descend. We were dropping elevation very quickly. That just means there's steeper hills ahead to recover the elevation lost. But W.H stopped me "we're dropping too fast". Those words came like daggers, I didn't want to admit it, not after happily running down the slopes to pick up time, but I knew he was right. I shouted at the 4 ahead and they came walking back. The news didn't take long to break, everyone started dashing back. I wasn't sure if it's because they felt pressed for time or just pissed off at me. I was surely pissed off at myself.

We hiked furiously back another 2.5 miles.

Of all the times to screw up on a directions I HAD to do it on a 17 mile hike. We returned to Nevada Falls by 10am. By that time everyone and their grandma was on the trail. Our intentions of beating everyone to the cable was a lost cause. We had already covered about 7 miles and had another 4.6 miles to go with the worst yet to come. We took our first real break at the falls to fill up our bottles from the Merced River, as planned. The increased weight of my backpack immediately took it's toll on me. Fortuntely the next mile was flat. I turned on my iPod and life was good once again, but only for that one mile. The trail began to incline again and it only got steeper. With the increased crowd the trail became dusty and I coughed along the way. Finally we came out of the forested area and the dirt path became granite slabs.

Ahead of us were two large groups of tourits. How did they ever manage getting up here with those shoes that they got on? One by one, like ants, we walked up the stone carved steps along the edge of the mountain. We were probably above 7,000ft at this point. The fatigue and thin air made every step painful. I was really out of shape. We gradually made our ascent 5 steps at a time. The trail was filled with hikers needing to rest on the side. When one sits up, the spot is immediately filled with another breathless hiker. I cursed my foolish mistake with every step. had we not deviated 5 miles, 2 hours!!! I would have had more energy for this shit.

We finally reached the base of the cable. People were scattered all over, resting, some napping, some fueling up. The cable was packed and it took about 30min to reach the top of the cable. It probably would have been faster if people wore appropriate shoes, but better safe than sorry. One slip at the top could possible take the rest of us down to our death. The view at the top was magnificant, but not as pleasing as I expected. I needed to pee, I was tired, the wind was blowing hard and I was cold. After 10min we began our descent.

The descent was painful. I was miserable. We passed by Yadi who was limping with a random branch she improvised as a stick. I couldn't even care to help her. We were on our own. All I wanted was to get back, shower, grab a beer, pop a few pills, eat pizza and sleep.

And I did.

something new

Everyone is surprised when I tell them how entrenched CB is with the current election. I didn't know this part about him either. He always seem so ghetto. Sometimes I dread the moment my colleagues meet CB with his shaved head and gold metal framed sunglasses, stepping out of his black Jag then breaking a smile showing his new "grills". On rare occasions I'd catch him reading a novel by his favourite author. It's always a new book so I know he does most of his reading in BART. Seeing him with a book always surprises me, he doesn't seem that type. I imagine him more with an auto magazine, not books by Vince Flynn etc. Now, the news is cosntantly on TV reporting on Obama and McCaine. I would never have guessed CB cared so much about this. He even started a blog because he has so much to say and I would not hear it.

With the start of my new business CB really stepped up to the plate. I think his Dentist may have helped a bit. He shared with her that I finally started my own clinic and she advised him to be patient with me. The start of her clinic many years ago consumed her time and cost her her marriage. With that, I came home to a cooked meal almost every night and my biggest fan to cheer me on each day.

just something new i'm learning about CB as we grow old together.

The twins

I have the cutest niece and nephew in the world. I just got back from Vancouver yesterday and after spending a couple of days with my 16 months old niece and nephew-twins, who I'll refer to as Luke and Leah, I'm telling the world that they're the cutest babies ever. Absolutely adorable, they love to play and will wiggle and dance to music, they crawl all over you and even learned to play catch with us. They wake up around 5:30am and start talking to eachother, really loud, the baby talk is my alarm to jump out of bed and play with them. I love how their eyes light up at the sight of me, then they both start crawling/walking like a stampede and runs me over. They keep this up for 4 hours before nap time. My nap time as well. Kudos to my sister and brother in law. CB and I had to sleep all Sunday to catch up on our missed sleep, and that was only two days worth of baby sitting.

It's up to me now

After returing from my wedding I went straight into preparation of acquiring a new business. There was much to be done and lots for me to learn. The learning never ends and everything I read and heard about owing my own business was true. Shortly after the office opened my partner and I met up with a personal injury attorney. He's well into his 60's, in great shape and offered several tips through his casual laughter. His favourite tip of all, as he said it many times "the best thing about owning your own business is that you get to work any 80 hour weeks you want." I bumped into another collegue at the gym the other day and she giggled as I told her I still have much to be done. She reminded me to get some sleep. ?? Of course I sleep, or do I? No, I really don't. It's very light sleep, something I'm unaccustomed to. I wake up many times in the night and everytime I wake, I'm fully awake. I check the time to make sure I didn't over sleep then I start rehearsing the things I need to do the next day. I dont' know how long those thoughts last before I truly fall asleep again. The first month, I drove to work with the most excitement I ever felt in years. Now the excitement remains but I'm so tired. I gather up my energy before I walk through the door and act like the boss that I'm supposed to be, bright eyed bushy tailed, full of energy, the "picture of health" as one of my patient calls me. I used to feel that way. Now I skip my lunch work-outs because there's always little errands to be done. There's so much running through my head that I ignore most phone calls except for one particular friend, who might even have ideas that I'm ignoring her. Well, compare to others, bitch, you're the only one I ignore the least.

There are days I feel proud of myself, others days I feel like shit. It's a mix of emotions and a stress level that I've yet to learn to deal with. Thank god I love what I do, I can't imagine puting up with this stress over something I feel mediocre about.

I have to give thanks to all my friends and family through this period. I've received so much support, encouragement and help that it really made things so much easier. I'm incredibly touched with everyone's encouraging words and knowing they're ready to help. CB's been incredible as well. He's been doing most of the cooking and cleaning at home and making sure I eat. We haven't spent much quality time lately, luckily he's a man and not emotionally needy. If the roles were reversed I think I'd bitch about lack of attention. It also works out that CB's got a project at work that he's incredibly busy with.

Time passes fast though. Quarter of the year has already passed and now I need to make sure the office does well the second quarter. It's such a crazy race. And I know it'll always be like this.

the stress diet

I can see why some don't eat when they're stressed.
I bought this new practice. It drains me. It's exciting but it consumes me. I'm constantly thinking about it, I can't sleep because my mind won't stop thinking of it, I barely eat, I have no appetite and strangely, I'm not hungry.

It's consuming ME.

a sick couple

It's been years since I've been this sick.
I had a slight sore throat Tuesday night. I didn't think much about it.
Then Wednesday morning CB and I both woke up saying "i'm sick" with headaches, achy body and later that night both with fevers. We spent all day Thursday in bed, I felt like we were incubating germs in our bedroom. It's Saturday and I feel better but I'm completely congested and I can't breathe through my nose. I haven't spent this much time in bed in years. It's actually kind of nice.

communication pet peeves

I have certain expectations when it comes to communication.
Most of it comes from the way I was raised "When adults are talking, children are not to interrupt."

Here it is:

1. When I'm holding a serious conversation with someone and that conversation does not involve you, please don't interrupt, especially when you're shouting your opinion from 5 ft away. Why are you listening in anyways? If you want to be part of the conversation, come closer and read the body language to see if you're welcomed.

2. When I'm on the phone don't talk to me. Dichotic listening is not my specialty. I often miss part of my conversation and what you said was a blur as well. Call my name or get my visual attention. I'll politely stop my conversation to answer your question with full attention. If your intention wasn't to ask me a question and just wanted to shout your opinion because you're listening in on my conversation then go back to number one.

3. If you walked into a conversation and you felt you missed something, naturally you'd ask "what happend? what were you guys talking about?" If no one answered, it means no one wants to share with YOU. It's not that they don't want to share, it's YOU they don't want to share the conversation with. Don't embarrass yourself further and stop digging in, you're just making everyone uncomfortable.

I need to clean

Is my need to clean some kind of housewife instinct that's taking over me? As I ate my lunch all I thought about was how I'm going to spend my Friday night cleaning the house. I want to throw away all that crap laying on our dining table for the past year. There's a box of wedding material that I can't wait to throw out, but I want to complete our thank you cards first then burn that wedding stuff like it was a some kind of bad nightmare. I want to vacuum the house and scrub the floor. I spent 30min scrubbing down the shower door and now its' soap scum free. I want to buy a dozen toothbrushes so I can scrub between the tiles of the bathroom wall and kitch countertop. Then scrub out that mold sitting by the window still. I want to pull all my clothes out of my closet and refold them so they look neat like a store shelf. I want to forbid any future purchases of DVD's because we do not watch them more than once but once they're in the house they do take up space forever. I want to throw away that old pile of unopened mail that I can not throw away because it's not mine and I get nervous watching it sit there, haven't you watched "House of Sand and Fog"? Open your mail!. I still have to fold that laundry, find a place for our SCUBA gear and possibly re-organize the storage space. I want this place CLEAN and it seems like the first step to keep it clean is the rid the cause.. and the cause is HIM. The one who's not going to leave my side till I die. wah.... I'm going to be cleaning forever, like a fuckn maid.

How does it feel

How does it feel to be married?
The same.

We lived together for a year before our wedding day. I feel the same today as I did yesterday, and the week before the wedding and the months before that.

It's been over a week since the big day and I still get nightmares of it. It just shows that I spent too much time planning for it.
I'm very glad the day is over and more pleased that the pictures turned out beautifully. I would need those pictures and videos to remind me of what I missed.
Back to normal life. Today I got out of bed at 2pm. That was great. I hardly sleep past 10am, but my goal was to wake up when i felt like it, and 2pm it was.

Suddenly without a wedding to plan I'm feeling anxious. I'll focus on work again.

From The Brides View

It was everything I didn’t expect.
The week was tortuous and fun all in one. Everyday leading up to the day of the wedding was packed with activities leaving us little time to sleep. Despite crappy weather we still did our tours, the highlight being the Tarsier monkeys. They’re so ugly they’re cute. Everywhere we went we traveled as a group. At times it was a logistical nightmare, but once settled it was fun to have everyone there. We dominated every place we went.

The unfortunate part was that people were getting sick. It almost seemed everyone got sick at one point. I felt really bad that guests were falling ill. But I tried to remind myself that there’s nothing I can do about it and it really isn’t my fault.

The day before the Wedding:
By the 5th I was exhausted. Exhausted from all the shouts and fights CB and I went through and continued to carry on in the Philippines. Little details remain unresolved because we couldn’t talk about wedding stuff without raising our voices. Thousands of things ran through my head but I couldn’t verbalize them. I never felt so frustrated, angry, stressed and exhausted all at once. All while trying to maintain a pleasant composure. We transferred to Shangri-la on the 5th, CB took off quickly to run more errands. I relished the moment I set foot on Shangri-la’s beach. I laid there for only an hour before I started getting the jitters and had to hit the gym to run off the anxiety. It may be a small thing, but when the attendant approached me and handed me an icy cold towel 10 minute into my run that made everything better. I liked that towel service.

At night the MOH and I cleaned a bottle of red while we scurried around the hotel suite wrapping up last minute details. I hit the sac at 10pm, tired again and caught myself thinking of ingenious ways to excuse myself from the next day’s event. But I couldn't, could I? This isn’t some Friday night birthday party that I don’t want to attend because I’m too tired. This is a wedding that spun out of control. From a small guest list of people dear to my heart, to people I don’t know, didn’t invite and subsequently some didn’t show up either. A list of should’ve, could’ve ran through my head. If I could only turn back time and did things differently. This is my party, why am I so miserable?

Wedding day:
The usual morning make up and dress up was fun. Once the camera crew showed up the girls and I lit up for the lenses. It’s great when no one is camera shy. The weather was warm but everything felt hot under my dress. After our morning shoot, I was feeling miserable again. Tired, hot and anxious and a dress too tight to sit in. Arg….. Then it came time to travel to the church, now that’s the fun part. A Sunday wedding squeezed between two masses. Everyone got there at 1pm for the 2pm wedding, I waited in the car with my bridesmaids, a lousy A/C in a very uncomfortable dress that had to be unzipped and I still couldn't sit straight. I was dripping in my dress and feeling grumpy. My bridesmaids probably took the worst of the hit. All my frustrations were directed to the one's immediately next to me... them. I was worried about the guests standing around the church feeling as miserable as I do. CC did the run around sending messages between the bridal car and the other guests. It may sound no big deal, but no one wanted to step out of the car into the heat. Tine had everything ready in case shit hits the fan, make up, food, hairspray, Tide to go.. you name it, and the MOH simply had to swallow the emotional beating coming out of me and fanning my fanny, yes, my legs were dripping hot.

Message came to the car that the public did not leave after the 1pm mass because they wanted to see the 2pm wedding. Thought it was some celebrity wedding since Sunday weddings were few and far in between and the Bishop was officialling it. I ended up getting so nervous, my walk down the aisle was a quick march. Who were all these people? The church was packed, I mean PACKED with people STANDING!!! The coordinator apparently lost her bearings as well and forgot to have the flower girl walk down. I’m disappointed. Everything was chaotic to me. I was simply happy to step out of the car and was ready to fly down the aisle and get this shit over with.

The ceremony was interesting. I’ve never sat through a full Philippino Catholic wedding so I wasn’t sure what to expect. Perhaps CB is lucky that I never sat through one, otherwise I would have never agreed to it. It was an hour long with a communion, at which I dropped the F bomb at the altar when I turn to see a long time of people waiting to receive communion. Then the Bishop told our relatives that one of the fruit and flower offerers was “the most inappropriate, scandalous, sinful girl in the group ….” It was my cousin D with her cute black bubble dress reaching only mid thigh with killer legs that even made me gasp! I guess before that incident, our reader got an ear full for not wearing a shawl over her halter dress. We already warned her to wear a halter vs a strapless, but I guess when you’re sexy, you’re sexy regardless of what you wear. Yes, we’re a sinful bunch.

It’s so wrong, but hearing that brightened my day.

My brain was still fried stepping out of the church but at least the stress lifted. Not sure why I was stressed to begin with, but it laid over me like a dark shower blurring my day.

The camera’s started snapping away as we walked out of the church. The doves were released.

Looking back, the ceremony was tiring but it was the most special part of the day. I'll forever cherish the memories of holding my parents arms down the aisle. When my dad told me that he didn't mind the heat once he saw me. He held my hand tight, I squeezed back, I miss him too. I'll always remember our voices echoing through the church as I shared my vows with my sunglass wearing husband. So ghetto.

The reception was fun for me, we had native dancers lined up, a kick ass band that everyone raved about. Name a song and they played and sung it well. It didn’t matter which genre, they were a great cover band. We performed our first dance, a waltz that we barely practiced, my footing was everywhere, I was happy, buzzed and still a blur. But I didn't mind that we were all over the dance floor dancing to our own beat. The cake was not served, there was plenty of dessert aside from the cake, so I bit into my wedding cake, something I’ve always wanted to do. A big fresh cake and it was mine to destroy.
There were games.. that I didn’t even know about. Which I think people enjoyed, but I can't remember, I was running low on fuel.

The day felt like organized chaos which others felt was fun.

By the end of the night I was drunk and the groom was missing and half the crowd was gone because that's apprently what Cebuano's do.

I return to my room to find the groom over the bowl. I guess that's how the wedding night ends.