Monday, July 19, 2004

can I help you...

find your balls?  I know women's position in today's society has changed a lot, but I was raised in a very traditional family where I wasn't even allowed to work till I forcefully convinced my dad in 2nd year college so I can start the co-op program.  I know in many families women have now become the bread-winner and/or "wear the pants" in the relationship.  But, that doesn't sit well with me.  I'm a blend of aiming to be the bread-winner,  while holding onto what the traditional wife should be (ironically, I can't cook).  I feel strange watching men succumb to their partner or ask for their "permission".  This one guy had to call his wife 6 times over the phone then he made me speak to her 3 times before coming to a decision.  It took an hour to settle his case.  I understand couples make decisions WITH their partner or COMPROMISE with their partner, but this was more along the lines of.. "I have to ask my mommy first".  I walked out of that meeting afraid I might step on the balls he left behind, but then realized I've been in those situations several times with women and felt their indecisiveness was justifiable.  How can I be this way?  So, back to my dad.  He used to tell me "don't worry about working or money, I'll take care of that.  You need to focus on school, then find a good husband"  I used to get very angry when he said that, I never wanted a husband like my dad.  Now, I've changed my mind. I would love a husband who says "don't worry about work or money, I'll take care of that, just focus on shopping and taking care of the kids" and I'll smile with the cutest eyes and say "ok sugar"





7 comments:

Thoughts said...

I know exactly what you mean...I'm torn between the two also...but I agree with you...bring on the Sugar Daddies!

Anonymous said...

OK, although I don't agree with a woman being taken advantage of by their man or anything like that - it is really nice when a guy can BE THERE. Mentally, physically, financially. Now-a-days it's just about being macho. UGH! I hate that. I just want one of those nice guys that all those sappy love songs are written about. Hello... John Mayer? Gavin DeGraw? Where are you...? OK, now I'm depressed. Where's my VISA? I need some theraputic shopping...

Ben said...

No double-standards for me; I'm an equal-opportunity breadwinner / breadloser. Bring on the sugar mommies!

Seriously, I'm all for women making what they're worth in society, mostly because when I find the "right one", she'll not be the useless "flower vase" trophy wife that some guys seem to seek. In today's world, it takes two to build a proper home, to get where I think I want to be (mentally, physically, financially). I need someone who will be there through thick and thin, roll up her sleeves, get some elbow grease, and be with me to help solve the problem. I'm not saying that she has to labour and toil so that I can have the good life, but I ain't going to be knee-deep in problems and sh!t just so that she can be my little housewife.

I mean, if I were rich, hey, no problem -- but that's not reality. If I wanted someone to love, who would love me unconditionally, but just be a burden in every other way (mentally / financially), I'd get a pet. A dog or something. Or a turtle in one of those terraniums with the heat lamps so they can bathe under that "sun" as long as they like.

Anyhow, all the same, good luck on you ladies' searches. Hahaha ...

head dump said...

oh crap, don't you just hate it when people run over your dreams with this thing called "reality"? I agree it's hard to start a family with a single income these days. Plus I can't imagine any decent guy who would prefer his girl not to work. I would think anyone who is ambitious would want a partner who's similar.

The truth is, since I'm not attached to anyone, the dream would be to find Prince Charming who can afford me the CHOICE of being a homemaker, though I may not choose that. Either way, money isn't everything. And no matter how much you make, it never seems to be enough anyways. In the end it's just meeting the right person. This IS depressing. I should go SHOPPING too, for a PET.

Ben said...

When you find your Prince Charming, please ask if they would be willing to adopt me and cover my expenses also. Not that I would choose to live like that, but I wouldn't mind having "the option" of it.

head dump said...

when I find Prince Charming, "they" would be him and I. So I'd be adopting you! Oh baby Benny... hee hee

Ben said...

Haha, it's sad but true: I'm a nearly-30-year-old man who still likes to be babied.